Musburger

"You can cut a snake's head off, but he continues to live!" - Brent Musburger, 1997 Rose Bowl

A single sentence that haunts me to this day. I watched that Rose Bowl game, only interested in the outcome because, my team, the Florida Gators, stood to have a chance at the MNC of college football, only if Ohio State could somehow manage to beat Jake "the snake" Plummer and Arizona State. At that moment, his statement, while perplexing, indicated the Gators' chance of getting the title was small as ASU had just gone ahead with time dwindling in the game. After OSU answered to take the lead, it dawned on me how weird that exclamation was.

Did Musburger have inside information the Plummer was some alien species? Had he actually practiced that line ahead of time (a la Al Michaels in the 1980 Olympic Hockey game between the USA and USSR) in the event the Plummer would lead ASU to an important late game score? Was Brent a closet biology buff who wanted to show his prowess for knowing that dead snakes may not exactly be dead?

Ever since then, if Musburger is announcing a game, I find myself remembering that quote. Obsessive? Perhaps, but as obsessions go, it doesn't interfere with my day-to-day life.

One weird thing about Musburger is that he really evokes some primal responses in folks. a friend once referred to him as "Musfucker" when she didn't like his characterization of her team during a game. Needless to say, holiday cards were not sent to him that year either.

How are the Picks, Part 2

Exposing my soft underbelly for more insult:

MOTOR CITY BOWL
Dec. 26, Central Michigan (8-5) vs. Purdue (7-5)
My Pick: Chippewas 25, Boilermakers 24
Result: Boilermakers 51, Chippewas 48

This game had loads of drama and intrigue for a fairly crappy setup (i.e. rematch in lower tier bowl). Offensive football fans were given a treat (yeah I get the hidden suggestion).

HOLIDAY BOWL
Dec. 27, Arizona State (10-2) vs. Texas (9-3)
My Pick: Texas 27, ASU 23
Result: Texas 52, ASU 34

Wow, Texas ripped a new one for ASU. Unbelievable how little ASU was in the game, but my fears were clearly proven correct concerning ASU.

CHAMPS SPORTS BOWL
Dec. 28, Boston College (10-3) vs. Michigan State (7-5)
My Pick: BC 42, MSU15
Result: BC 24, MSU21

MSU had no business really being in this game yet there they were with two possessions in the last 5 minutes with a chance to tie or take the lead. I may be reading too much into the lower tier bowls, but at this point my feeling is that the PAC 10 is offering up weak showing after weak showing. The Big Ten, surprisingly has done well all things considered. Still too early to comment on ACC, Big 12, Big East and SEC yet.

TEXAS BOWL
Dec. 28, TCU (7-5) vs. Houston (8-4)
My Pick: TCU 24, Houston 20
Result: TCU 20, Houston 13

TCU gave Houston one last chance to tie the game thanks to the prevent defense, but since Houston could must no offense, it didn't matter.

EMERALD BOWL
Dec. 28, Maryland (6-6) vs. Oregon State (8-4)
My Pick: Oregon State 31, Maryland 24
Result: Oregon State 21, Maryland 14

Terps lack of offensive firepower hurt them badly. PAC 10 picks up first bowl win of the year.

MEINEKE CAR CARE BOWL
Dec. 29, UConn (9-3) vs. Wake Forest (8-4)
My Pick: UConn 20, Wake 19
Result: Wake 24, UConn 10

At halftime my analysis looked pretty good. Unfortunately for UConn, the game is played in two halves. Excellent game plan and execution by Wake in the second half.

LIBERTY BOWL
Dec. 29, Mississippi State (7-5) vs. UCF (10-3)
My Pick: UCF 19, Mississippi State 13
Result: Mississippi State 10, UCF 3

My analysis concerning Smith and State was spot on. I just figured that UCF was good forabout two touchdowns in the game. State's D shows up huge and wins the game.

ALAMO BOWL
Dec. 29, Penn State (8-4) vs. Texas A&M (7-5)
My Pick: PSU 17, A&M 15
Result: PSU 24, A&M 17

Gary Darnell has coached more teams with the "Interim" tag than perhaps anyone. Unfortunately he never really wins these games so, he will continue to at best be an interim head coach. Joe Pa's squad came up huge in game number 500.

Record in this post: 5-3
Cumulative record for Bowl Season: 7-5

How are the picks, Part 1

The thing I love most about making the picks is seeing how dreadfully awful they can be. Next year I am going to make this a pick-em challenge with other members of the MDGATOR team. But for now, let's review how things are going:

PAPAJOHNS.COM BOWL
Dec. 22, Cincinnati (9-3) vs. Southern Miss (7-5)
My Pick: Bearcats 35, Golden Eagles 17.
Result: Bearcats 31, Golden Eagles 21.

Not so far off. Bearcats were in control for most of the game and USM could not get close enough to seriously challenge.

NEW MEXICO BOWL
Dec. 22, New Mexico (8-4) vs. Nevada (6-6)
My Pick: Nevada 27, New Mexico 24.
Result: New Mexico 23, Nevada 0

Total domination by the Aggies. Jumped out to an early first quarter lead and coasted home. Nevada turns in a historically bad performace, getting shut out for the first time in over 27 years.

LAS VEGAS BOWL Las Vegas
Dec. 22, BYU (10-2) vs. UCLA (6-6)
My Pick: BYU 45, UCLA 16
Result: BYU 17, UCLA 16

At least I was accurate on the UCLA total. UCLA's defense came to play in this game and should have had the win, except for the last second block of a Bruin FG attempt as time expired. Favorite moment of the game was the omni-drunk Paul McGuire giving his take on the UCLA coaching search. He thinks they should keep Walker and hire a Co-Head Coach to go along with him. I cannot fathom how any rational human being would believe that such a scenario would have any chance of success.

HAWAII BOWL Honolulu, Hawaii
Dec. 23, East Carolina (7-5) vs. Boise State (10-2)
My Pick: Broncos 34, Pirates 25
Result: Pirates 41, Broncos 38

An entertaining game that was reminiscent of last year's Fiesta Bowl game featuring Boise State. Great effort and performance by ECU.

Record in this post: 2-2
Cumulative record for Bowl Season: 2-2

Bowl Game Picks Part II

Continuing my own lame attempts at prognostication:

OUTBACK BOWL Tampa
Jan. 1, 11 a.m. (ESPN) Wisconsin (9-3) vs. Tennessee (9-4)

Two mediocre, boring offensive teams slug it out in the lamest of the New Year's Day Bowls. Tennessee will be without its Offensive Coordinator, WR's coach and 6 players who are ineligible for the game. Wisconsin is from the Big Ten. Great fun for all! Wisconsin 9, Tennessee 8.

COTTON BOWL Dallas
Jan. 1, 11:30 a.m. (FOX) Missouri (11-2) vs. Arkansas (8-4)

Another contractual mismatch. The Cotton Bowl gets first pick of the Big 12 non-BCS teams and fourth non-BCS SEC squad. The biggest shock is when the SEC actually wins this game. This is not to be one of those years. Missouri is undefeated against all teams not named Oklahoma. Arkansas will be coached by someone and who really has any clue how they will respond. Missouri 35, Arkansas 23.

GATOR BOWL Jacksonville
Jan. 1, Noon (CBS) Virginia (9-3) vs. Texas Tech (8-4)

Al Groh's offense vs. Mike Leach's offense. Red Raiders 56, UVa 35.

CAPITAL ONE Orlando, Fla.
Jan. 1, 1 p.m. (ABC) Michigan (8-4) vs. Florida (9-3)

The granddaddy of the non-BCS games pits Michigan in Lloyd Carr's last game against Heisman winner Tim Tebow and the the Florida Gators. Despite the torchability of the Florida secondary, I expect the Gators to have more than enough to take care of a mostly fired Michigan coaching staff and their weak offense. If Rich Rodriguez were coaching this game, I would give Michigan a chance, but then again, they do play in the Big Ten. Oh yeah and Urban Meyer is undefeated lifetime in bowl games. Gators 49, Wolverines 19.

ROSE BOWL Pasadena, Calif.
Jan. 1, 4:30 p.m. (ABC) USC (10-2) vs. Illinois (9-3)

Example #23 of why the BCS is such a joke. Illinois representing the BCS is like Lynne Spears writing a book on parenting tips. Oops, that happened too. USC will once again trounce a joke representative from the Big Ten. Bonus viewer points for being able to follow the mental droppings of Illinois coach Ron Zook during his half time interview. USC 39, Illinois 17.

SUGAR New Orleans
Jan. 1, 8:30 p.m. (FOX) Hawaii (12-0) vs. Georgia (10-2)

Hawaii. Worst undefeated team ever. June Jones is supposedly actively looking for a new job. I am guessing that he does not relish the thought of how his team will be helping to jump start the 2008 Heisman campaign for Tim Tebow when they open the season in the Swamp. As for this game, Hawaii will likely have to chain convicted/acquitted rapist Colt Brennan to his room during their time in New Orleans. Georgia will likely be able to run at will against Hawaii and have a stout enough defense to disrupt Brennan and co. Georgia 38, Hawaii 21.

FIESTA BOWL Glendale, Ariz.
Jan. 2, 8:00 p.m. (FOX) West Virginia (10-2) vs. Oklahoma (11-2)

West Virginia will be coached by an interim and Oklahoma will be looking to erase the memory of last year's fantastic finish against Boise State. Oklahoma's freshman QB Sam Bradford is a name to watch for next year's Heisman. West Virginia could be playing with White, Slaton etc. for the last time depending on the outcome of their coaching search. I say there is a 50% chance some sort of chicanery involving Noel Devine takes over the media in the last 24 hours prior to kickoff. Sooners 31, Mountaineers 23.

ORANGE BOWL Miami
Jan. 3, 8 p.m. (FOX) Kansas (11-1) vs. Virginia Tech (11-2)

If Hawaii is the worst BCS team, then the Orange Bowl is the worst BCS game. Kansas feasted on enough cupcakes this year to almost sate the immense hunger of Mike Mangino. Virgina Tech, on paper appears to have lost once in somewhat fluke circumstances to BC and of course had the blowout against LSU. but when you watch them play, you never feel like you are watch one of the 4 best teams in the country. Hokies 27, Kansas 18.

INTERNATIONAL BOWL Toronto
Jan. 5, Noon (ESPN2) Rutgers (7-5) vs. Ball State (7-5)

To call this the "Who Gives a Shit Bowl" wouldn't adequately distinguish it from about 20 of the other bowls. Ball State is fairly good at putting a scare into BCS teams, but last year that team was Michigan and this year was Nebraska. Rutgers 28, Ball State 24.

GMAC BOWL Mobile, Ala.
Jan. 6, 8 p.m. (ESPN) Tulsa (9-4) vs. Bowling Green (8-4)

Actually a nice matchup for fans of good solid offense. This game has a chance to be tons more entertaining than the last game of the season. Tulsa 33, Bowling Green 23.

BCS TITLE GAME New Orleans
Jan. 7, 8 p.m. (FOX) Ohio State (11-1) vs. LSU (11-2)
Last season: No. 2 Florida 41, No. 1 Ohio State 14

OSU, 0-8 lifetime versus the SEC in bowl games. LSU is perhaps the worst BCS participant since Oklahoma in 2003. OSU plays in the Big Ten. LSU relies on coaching decisions enhanced by the mental Viagra of Les Miles. OSU is actually better balanced this year than last year in that QB Boeckman can have an off day and OSU will still be able to score. LSU should be 100% healthy for the this game which is not good news for OSU. If the game comes down to coaching you have to give the edge to Tressel. If it comes down to athletes, LSU. I think this one is a nail biter and OSU finally gets the SEC monkey off of its back. OSU 23, LSU 21.

Bowl Game Picks

PAPAJOHNS.COM BOWL Birmingham, Ala.
Dec. 22, 1 p.m. (ESPN2) Cincinnati (9-3) vs. Southern Miss (7-5)

Cincinnati should be expected to win this game with a lame duck coaching USM and Brian Kelly looking to impress to land one of the remaining open jobs. Plus my only personal interaction with a USM grad (and former football player there) has lead me to believe steroids are part of the natural ecosystem. Even with such a chemical disadvantage, Bearcats roll: Bearcats 35, Golden Eagles 17.

NEW MEXICO BOWL Albuquerque, N.M.
Dec. 22, 4:30 p.m. (ESPN) New Mexico (8-4) vs. Nevada (6-6)
Last season: San Jose State 20, New Mexico 12

Reason #512 that being a "bowl team" is about as impressive as the title "air breather". This bowl exists to "showcase" a football team from New Mexico against some eligible bowl team. You can see it worked out well last year. Nevada 27, New Mexico 24.

LAS VEGAS BOWL Las Vegas
Dec. 22, 8 p.m. (ESPN) BYU (10-2) vs. UCLA (6-6)
Last season: No. 19 BYU 38, Oregon 8

This bowl seems to exist to allow BYU to take out its aggressions for not being part of the football establishment on a crappy PAC-10 team. You can see how much the win over Oregon last year both boosted BYU and hurt Oregon going into this season. UCLA made the right call in firing Dorrell despite the rash of injuries this year. The only game they lost directly because of the injury situation was Notre Dame (still an inexcusable loss). BYU comes in looking to avenge a loss in a game they dominated. Also, the location of the bowl game is a natural advantage to BYU since as a Mormon institution, its players will be less likely to need to have "what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas". Unfortunately for the Bruins, the outcome of this game will likely be something they want to leave behind. BYU 45, UCLA 16

HAWAII BOWL Honolulu, Hawaii
Dec. 23, 8 p.m. (ESPN) East Carolina (7-5) vs. Boise State (10-2)

Boise State is a fairly good team. ECU is fairly mediocre. Boise played its last game on this very field. Whoop-de-freakin'-doo. Broncos 34, Pirates 25

MOTOR CITY Detroit
Dec. 26, 7:30 p.m. (ESPN) Central Michigan (8-5) vs. Purdue (7-5)

Perhaps my favorite bowl game subspecies is the decent "Have-not" team playing the crappy "Have" team. The non-BCS schools salivate at the chance to show how they really should get more respect from the BCS schools. The joke of the whole thing is that if you have a .500 record in a BCS conference, you are virtually guaranteed (apologies go out to South Carolina) an extra month of practice to jump start spring drills. Most of these coaches could actually care less if they win the game (see BYU vs. Oregon from last season). Chippewas 25, Boilermakers 24

HOLIDAY BOWL San Diego
Dec. 27, 8 p.m. (ESPN) Arizona State (10-2) vs. Texas (9-3)

Back when BYU was a regular participant, the Holiday Bowl was one of the most entertaining bowl games on the docket. These days this bowl treats us to a PAC 10 team that is either feeling slighted for missing out on the BCS or giddy that they are spared from the ignominy of the Emerald Bowl. The Big 12 team that shows up is a wild card. On paper, Texas has no business being in this game. I just can shake the visions of how ASU had BCS opportunity in front of them and then crapped the bed in their last 4 games, which they could have either won all or lost all. A truly powerful team doesn't rely on Mike Stoops' horrendous choices to win that game against Arizona. Texas 27, ASU 23.

CHAMPS SPORTS BOWL Orlando, Fla.
Dec. 28, 5 p.m. (ESPN) Boston College (10-3) vs. Michigan State (7-5)

My other favorite bowl subspecies is the "contractual mismatch". This is a game where the conference choice hierarchy gives a bowl choice X from conference A and choice Y from conference B, where Y-X>2. Michigan State is a crap team from a crap conference. The ACC also sucks, but BC is so much better than MSU. BC 42, MSU15.

TEXAS BOWL Houston
Dec. 28, 8 p.m. (NFL Network) TCU (7-5) vs. Houston (8-4)

Start time says it all for this game. Original programming for a time slot where no one normally watches the NFL Network. TCU gets a slight nod due to coaching stability. TCU 24, Houston 20.

EMERALD BOWL San Francisco
Dec. 28, 8:30 p.m. (ESPN) Maryland (6-6) vs. Oregon State (8-4)

Crappy ACC team travels cross-county to take on PAC 10 team in a city that could care less about college football. The highlight of this game is the commercials from the bowl sponsor. The draw in accepting this bid for Maryland was the savings alone for Friedgen's ever expanding hunger for never ending snack food bowls. Oregon State 31, Maryland 24.

MEINEKE CAR CARE BOWL Charlotte
Dec. 29, 1 p.m. (ESPN) UConn (9-3) vs. Wake Forest (8-4)

Wake Forrest has lived on the edge the last 2 years and Jim Grobe almost parlayed that into a lucrative contract from Arkansas. I guess he has bought himself long term security at Wake, but it does seem to suggest that he knows he can't really compete with the big boys. UConn lived a similarly charmed existence this season until WVU stomped their balls. UConn 20, Wake 19.

LIBERTY BOWL Memphis, Tenn.
Dec. 29, 4:30 p.m. (ESPN) Mississippi State (7-5) vs. UCF (10-3)

Most folks watching this game will be expecting to see Kevin Smith attempt to break the single season rushing record (which is crap cuz Barry Sanders did it in 2 fewer games). State's underrated defense will be able to mostly contain Smith and likely keep the record in Sander's rightful hands. State's utter contempt for offense will keep UCF in the game, but don't expect O'Leary to giftwrap two touchdowns late in the game like Ole Miss did for the Croomster. UCF 19, Mississippi State 13.

ALAMO BOWL San Antonio
Dec. 29, 8 p.m. (ESPN) Penn State (8-4) vs. Texas A&M (7-5)

Texas A&M is finally rid of Coach Fran, but who the heck knows how this will turn out. Joe Pa hopes to gain a cheap one on Bowden, but more on that later.... PSU 17, A&M 15.

INDEPENDENCE BOWL Shreveport, La.
Dec. 30, 8 p.m. (ESPN) Colorado (6-6) vs. Alabama (6-6)
Last season: Oklahoma State 34, Alabama 31

Another year, new coach, $4 M less in bank account, Bama is back in Shreveport in the world's worst bowl game destination. Shreveport isn't even that close to New Orleans. I guess it is possible folks get drunk there and flash boobs too, but with cable and the internet these days, is it really necessary to travel to see those things? Bama 23, Colorado 17.

ARMED FORCES BOWL Fort Worth, Texas
Dec. 31, 12:30 p.m. (ESPN) Cal (6-6) vs. Air Force (9-3)

Air Force will play smart, disciplined ball. Tedford will decide whether to let his quarterback coach the team or just do it himself. Falcons 35, Bears 21.

SUN BOWL El Paso, Texas
Dec. 31, 2 p.m.(CBS) USF (9-3) vs. Oregon (8-4)

Cons against Oregon: Starting QB named Leaf, Zero confidence in rest of Offense, Ready to look to next year.
Pros for Oregon: Phil Knight supplies kick ass gear.
USF 42, Oregon 17

HUMANITARIAN BOWL Boise, Idaho
Dec. 31, 2 p.m. (ESPN2) Fresno State (8-4) vs. Georgia Tech (7-5)

The Blue Turf bowl without Boise State is like having the New Mexico Bowl without New Mexico. Fresno State will actually try to win this game. Georgia Tech at least will not be handcuffed by Chan Gailey any more. Georgia Tech 26, Fresno State 23.

MUSIC CITY BOWL Nashville
Dec. 31, 4 p.m. (ESPN) Florida State (7-5) vs. Kentucky (7-5)

At last. 36 (and counting) Seminoles will not be making the trip to Nashville. If Bobby Bowden were still alive, this cheating scandal never would have made it to the light of day. Seriously, there are very few coaches that would still have a job after about 1/3 of their team cheated and were caught. If Kentucky weren't Kentucky, I would feel pretty safe in picking them for this game. On the plus side for the Wildcats, I am guessing Jimbo Fisher is going to start drinking on the job to hopefully get fired so that he can pursue other opportunities post haste. If you see him call 3 straight "statue of liberty plays" you will know he has mentally checked out. Kentucky 49, FSU 20.

INSIGHT BOWL Tempe, Ariz.
Dec. 31, 5:30 p.m. (NFL Network) Indiana (7-5) vs. Oklahoma State (6-6)

Just when you think, you have peered into the crappiest bowl match up, here comes the Insight Bowl. Indiana is still playing for the memory of their coach and Gundy is insane. That said, the Big Ten still sucks. OSU 44, Indiana 14.

CHICK-FIL-A BOWL Atlanta
Dec. 31, 7:30 p.m. (ESPN) Clemson (9-3) vs. Auburn (8-4)

Another of the Contractual Mismatch Bowls. A mediocre SEC Squad against a top tier ACC squad. Plus you have the personal history between the Bowden family and Auburn. Clemson 35, Auburn 31.

The rest of the picks will come in a later post.

Verizon FiOS update

They still blow, but not quite like Paris Hilton.

The savings are not what they promise (I know, I should be shocked that I got lied to by a company).

The sound and video is always the slightly out of sync. Not enough to be unwatchable, but enough to just make you want to complain.

Internet access from our desktop machine sometimes drops unexpectedly.

On the good side, the wireless access works very well and it quite reliable.