Sunday, May 29, 2005
Return of the Nigerians
They may not be as smart as we think: They called again two times yesterday. To their credit, they did not leave any messages. Developing....
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
First UF Post
Since I did name this the Maryland Gator Blog, I should spend more time focusing on UF sports.
I have yet to meet a UF graduate that is not excited about this upcoming football season. Everyone thinks better days are ahead with the arrival of Urban Meyer to lead the troops against the best of the SEC. All are happy the Ron Zook disaster is behind us.
I am sure he is a hard working, good guy, but he is just not a great football coach. Some thoughts on the Zooker (no offense to Illinois fans):
I have yet to meet a UF graduate that is not excited about this upcoming football season. Everyone thinks better days are ahead with the arrival of Urban Meyer to lead the troops against the best of the SEC. All are happy the Ron Zook disaster is behind us.
I am sure he is a hard working, good guy, but he is just not a great football coach. Some thoughts on the Zooker (no offense to Illinois fans):
- He was way too lax on discipline with our team which is why off campus incidents and arrests climbed after he took over the program. Meyer promises to correct this trend. One wonders how he can expect to have players be disciplined on the football field (i.e. no penalties and flawless execution of plays), when they are not disciplined in anything else they do.
- He was too conservative for the college game. Unlike the NFL, college games are not generally won or lost on the last possession of the game. Better teams impose their will on the other team and force them to do things they would rather not do. UF played close games against good teams and bad teams while Zook was coach. Sure we were always in the game, but we never were able to make the other team react to us for the full duration of the game.
- The man is incapable of stringing together coherent thoughts during interviews. Again, if he has that much trouble communicating to a sideline reporter asking a fluff question, how can one expect him to adequately impart game plan information to his coordinators and players? Sure he is "high energy", but he would probablyhave more of his plan actually put into place if he spoke in a manner understandable to the rest of the humans in the room.
Little Powdered Donuts
Those little powdered donuts are about as tasty a creation as one can find. Imagine my disappointment that the convenience store near where I work stopped carrying them. They may be one of the most perfect morning snack foods:
- As mentioned above, they are tasty.
- Each donut is one good-sized bite.
- Does not necessarily require the use of a napkin, but is more substantial than chips.
Monday, May 23, 2005
May 22 Soccer Game vs. Light Gray
Wow! That was one heck of a game yesterday. It had everything: lead changes, tempers, and lots of good plays. I imagine a neutral spectator would have found it quite entertaining. Below is a synopsis:
The light gray team is an opponent that has traditionally given us trouble both in winning the game and in causing tempers to flair during the game. They do this to every team they play. About one year ago I remember a fight breaking out in their game against a Green team.
Both teams started with little in the way of subs and the situation worsened for the good guys when one of our strikers turned an ankle and could not play the rest of the game. The light gray team was short one female player and had to play with 10. Still, they have a lot of skilled players and were not to be taken lightly. They did their normal tactics of shoving here and cheap shots all over the field. I got a good look at tons of plays that could have been called against them, but were not.
About 10 minutes in one of their strikers broke free and scored on a low shot to the near post that I couldn't get down to get fast enough. About 15 minutes later we evened up the score on what has to be the goal of the year. Our striker scored on a bicycle kick from the top of the penalty box. A tremendous goal that I have not seen the equal of in this league. We were also unlucky with the woodwork and hit the crossbar twice in the half. Halftime score: 1-1.
Early in the second half, one of our midfielders ripped a nice shot into the top corner of the net for a 2-1 lead. The drama of the match came soon thereafter when our stopper was ejected for fighting following a cheap shot from an opposing player. With about 15 minutes to play we still held a 2-1 lead and I misplayed a low ball that snuck inside the post. I tried to slide and kick it out but it jumped over my foot. This is a lesson to always dive on these types of shots.
With about 10 minutes to play, light gray was awarded a penalty kick on an unintentional hand ball in the box. Knowing the odds are against me in this situation, I decided not to guess and potentially take myself out of the play. The kicker looked first to my left, so I thought that might be his first choice. As he approached the ball he tried to deceive me by looking left, then right, then left, and then right. He looked left as he approached the ball and I dove left as hard as I could. I was able to deflect the ball over the crossbar for the best save I think I have made this season. We held on to preserve a 2-2 tie.
Our team played very well against a difficult opponent. We created many good opportunities to score and had lots of great passing. I was very impressed with our strikers and midfielders' ability to create shots and distribute the ball. As always, our defenders did a tremendous job of limiting the number of shots I faced and battled hard all game long.
Playing keeper is very challenging. It has some huge mental swings that really are tough to deal with. It is hard to look at the other players on the team after our opponent scores. I feel like I have let them down. On the other hand, making a good save really pumps you up. I was feeling pretty down in this game after giving up the second goal, but preserving a tie when our team fought so hard against that group of jerks was a good feeling and a positive way to head into our next game.
The light gray team is an opponent that has traditionally given us trouble both in winning the game and in causing tempers to flair during the game. They do this to every team they play. About one year ago I remember a fight breaking out in their game against a Green team.
Both teams started with little in the way of subs and the situation worsened for the good guys when one of our strikers turned an ankle and could not play the rest of the game. The light gray team was short one female player and had to play with 10. Still, they have a lot of skilled players and were not to be taken lightly. They did their normal tactics of shoving here and cheap shots all over the field. I got a good look at tons of plays that could have been called against them, but were not.
About 10 minutes in one of their strikers broke free and scored on a low shot to the near post that I couldn't get down to get fast enough. About 15 minutes later we evened up the score on what has to be the goal of the year. Our striker scored on a bicycle kick from the top of the penalty box. A tremendous goal that I have not seen the equal of in this league. We were also unlucky with the woodwork and hit the crossbar twice in the half. Halftime score: 1-1.
Early in the second half, one of our midfielders ripped a nice shot into the top corner of the net for a 2-1 lead. The drama of the match came soon thereafter when our stopper was ejected for fighting following a cheap shot from an opposing player. With about 15 minutes to play we still held a 2-1 lead and I misplayed a low ball that snuck inside the post. I tried to slide and kick it out but it jumped over my foot. This is a lesson to always dive on these types of shots.
With about 10 minutes to play, light gray was awarded a penalty kick on an unintentional hand ball in the box. Knowing the odds are against me in this situation, I decided not to guess and potentially take myself out of the play. The kicker looked first to my left, so I thought that might be his first choice. As he approached the ball he tried to deceive me by looking left, then right, then left, and then right. He looked left as he approached the ball and I dove left as hard as I could. I was able to deflect the ball over the crossbar for the best save I think I have made this season. We held on to preserve a 2-2 tie.
Our team played very well against a difficult opponent. We created many good opportunities to score and had lots of great passing. I was very impressed with our strikers and midfielders' ability to create shots and distribute the ball. As always, our defenders did a tremendous job of limiting the number of shots I faced and battled hard all game long.
Playing keeper is very challenging. It has some huge mental swings that really are tough to deal with. It is hard to look at the other players on the team after our opponent scores. I feel like I have let them down. On the other hand, making a good save really pumps you up. I was feeling pretty down in this game after giving up the second goal, but preserving a tie when our team fought so hard against that group of jerks was a good feeling and a positive way to head into our next game.
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
Last Nigerian Post and Scotland
I have not heard from the Nigerians in 10 days. I think they have finally realized that they were dialing incorrectly.
A friend of mine correctly pointed out that just because English is the official language of Nigeria, it doesn't mean that we can understand the dialect they speak. It may sound just as foreign as the language they speak in Scotland!
If you have never been to Scotland, it is a hoot to talk to the people there. I went there on a business trip in January 2004 to meet with some folks at one of the sister companies of the company I currently work for. At the meeting were folks from the US, Denmark, England, Scotland, and Wales. It was easier to understand the Danish guy's English compared to that of the Scottish! I was introduced to the term "Glascow kiss" while enjoying a frosty beverage one night. One of our colleagues described it as:
Another highlight of the trip was obtaining a map of the UK which listed each region by the derogatory terms that the other regions refer to them as. Classic!
A friend of mine correctly pointed out that just because English is the official language of Nigeria, it doesn't mean that we can understand the dialect they speak. It may sound just as foreign as the language they speak in Scotland!
If you have never been to Scotland, it is a hoot to talk to the people there. I went there on a business trip in January 2004 to meet with some folks at one of the sister companies of the company I currently work for. At the meeting were folks from the US, Denmark, England, Scotland, and Wales. It was easier to understand the Danish guy's English compared to that of the Scottish! I was introduced to the term "Glascow kiss" while enjoying a frosty beverage one night. One of our colleagues described it as:
When aye grab ye by de eers and ram my forehead troo yer nose!
Another highlight of the trip was obtaining a map of the UK which listed each region by the derogatory terms that the other regions refer to them as. Classic!
Monday, May 16, 2005
Blue Team Takes one on the Chin (vs Sea Foam)
I am sad to report the mighty men and women in blue suffered a 4-0 loss to end their modest two game winning streak. We did lose to a superior team that had a lot of bigger, faster and more talented players. Currently undefeated, I will not be surprised if that team wins the league title this year.
That being said, the play of the Blue team was mixed. We played hard and competed, but suffered breakdowns that the other team always seemed to capitalize on. When we didn't effectively clear the ball, they collected it and took a shot on goal. When we waited for the ball instead of moving toward it, they intercepted it. I find no shame in losing to a better team and hope that we can try and emulate their style of play. They possessed the ball, moved without the ball into open space, and communicated well on the field.
We did have some scoring opportunities in the game and were unlucky not to put at least one through. For the first time this season, I did not think we were better than the other team. Thankfully, there were no injuries to report. Let's hope we can start another winning streak this coming Sunday.
That being said, the play of the Blue team was mixed. We played hard and competed, but suffered breakdowns that the other team always seemed to capitalize on. When we didn't effectively clear the ball, they collected it and took a shot on goal. When we waited for the ball instead of moving toward it, they intercepted it. I find no shame in losing to a better team and hope that we can try and emulate their style of play. They possessed the ball, moved without the ball into open space, and communicated well on the field.
We did have some scoring opportunities in the game and were unlucky not to put at least one through. For the first time this season, I did not think we were better than the other team. Thankfully, there were no injuries to report. Let's hope we can start another winning streak this coming Sunday.
Friday, May 13, 2005
Glazer to Acquire Manchester United
I have been following the attempts of Tampa Bay Buccaneers owner Malcolm Glazer to purchase the English football team Manchester United. It now appears that he is close to completing the deal.
The kind of resistance he has met seems absurdly discriminatory. No one freaked out when the Russian billionaire Abramovich purchased Chelsea. All he did was spend a load of cash and viola, they are the league champs this year. I think the ManU fans are mainly opposed to an American owning their beloved team.
Some of the statements from their fans have been utterly ridiculous. "He will sell the stadium!" "He will run the club into debt!" Quite to the contrary, he will probably look to spend money on better players and coaches to make the team more profitable. Before he owned the Buccaneers, they were the laughing stock of the NFL. Since then, they have become competitive and even won a Super Bowl for the first time in their history. He isn't buying the team to sell the stadium. He is buying the team to make money and the way to make money is to have them win. He will continue to spend like ManU always has.
That being said, since I am an Arsenal fan, I hope he fires that fat bastard Sir Alex Ferguson and hires Grudin.
The kind of resistance he has met seems absurdly discriminatory. No one freaked out when the Russian billionaire Abramovich purchased Chelsea. All he did was spend a load of cash and viola, they are the league champs this year. I think the ManU fans are mainly opposed to an American owning their beloved team.
Some of the statements from their fans have been utterly ridiculous. "He will sell the stadium!" "He will run the club into debt!" Quite to the contrary, he will probably look to spend money on better players and coaches to make the team more profitable. Before he owned the Buccaneers, they were the laughing stock of the NFL. Since then, they have become competitive and even won a Super Bowl for the first time in their history. He isn't buying the team to sell the stadium. He is buying the team to make money and the way to make money is to have them win. He will continue to spend like ManU always has.
That being said, since I am an Arsenal fan, I hope he fires that fat bastard Sir Alex Ferguson and hires Grudin.
UPS junk mail
I just received some junk mail from Verizon today via UPS. While I did actually read the header of said junk mail since it was a UPS letter, it seems a tad excessive to market using them instead of regular mail, TV, or radio.
I have had a grudge against Verizon for the past 5 years since they screwed me over on a connection charge they said they would waive and did not. Now they have built a new fiber optic system and plan to have cable TV service, high speed internet, as well as phone service. Their cell phone customer service was among the worst I had ever encountered. I have to wonder how they feel they can provide adequate customer service for a whole new set of products, when they do not adequately service the products they currently have?
Personally, it will be a long time before you see me sign up for their new services.
I have had a grudge against Verizon for the past 5 years since they screwed me over on a connection charge they said they would waive and did not. Now they have built a new fiber optic system and plan to have cable TV service, high speed internet, as well as phone service. Their cell phone customer service was among the worst I had ever encountered. I have to wonder how they feel they can provide adequate customer service for a whole new set of products, when they do not adequately service the products they currently have?
Personally, it will be a long time before you see me sign up for their new services.
Thursday, May 12, 2005
On Being a Soccer Fan in America
As you probably gathered from one of my previous posts, I am a soccer fan. I have been playing since I was 7 years old and have been interested in professional leagues for more than 20 years. I attended my first professional soccer game in the early 1980s. It was an NASL match between the Jacksonville Teamen and the Fort Lauderdale Strikers. The game went into overtime and the Teamen won in a shootout (NASL-style, 5 seconds to score from 35 yards out with only a keeper defending).
Quick aside--Is there anything more rediculous than moving a sports franchise and not renaming the team? A new name is especially needed when the team has a name that is based on something that is unique for a specific city or region. In the above example, the Teamen used to play in New England, where the name made sense. In Jacksonville, FL, the name sounds like a play on the fact that sweet tea is a popular, and delicious, drink. With the exception of teams like the Raiders, where the name is the team, a new name should accompany a team to its new city. Now back to my original rant.
I enjoy checking up on the results from the European leagues and especially the English Premier League. My favorite team is Arsenal. This is because I played on a team called Arsenal when I was 11. I also happen to be a fan of the more traditional American sports (Basketball and Football). Almost every soccer fan I know happens to be a fairly knowledgeable overall sports fan and also loves at least one of the "major" American sports.
The reason for this post is to clear up many inaccuracies that I still hear regarding soccer in the American sports media. While driving home, I can usually expect at least once a week to here the local sports talk yackers talk about how much soccer sucks or how it is "being crammed down our throats". This tactic, of course, elicits a soccer fan to try and come to the rescue and the hosts get to have fun at the poor guy's expense and then pat themselves on the back for showin him up.
A common harangue I hear against soccer is that no one cares unless the World Cup is on. This argument is silly. Interest in any event peaks when the biggest and most important games are played. Regular season college basketball and professional basketball ratings generally suck. But once you get to March Madness or the NBA Finals, the ratings increase and more casual fans take an interest. The same is true for soccer. People recognize that the most important tournament is the World Cup and those inclined to do so tune in to watch. When the US played in the 2002 World Cup in South Korea and Japan, their games were played in the middle of the night on weeknights no less. During a time of day when your average viewer is likely unemployed, alcoholic, insomniac or in college, ESPN drew ratings for those games that were better than weekend broadcasts for supposedly "better" sports.
Another common argument against soccer is that it is boring. A soccer match is very similar to hockey or in some respects, baseball. Like baseball, at any time, something could happen, so you have to pay attention so that you don't miss it. Soccer is not a good sport for TV primarily because the most important part of the game is what is happening away from the ball. Much like hockey, players are constantly trying to move to open space and hoping that the teammate with the ball can deliver it to them. When I watch a match, most of the time I am anticipating the next pass and hoping the string of events needed for success will play out. The anticipation is the most exciting part of a soccer game for most fans.
My other counter to the boring argument is that most sports, TV programs, or other performances for which you are not a fan are indeed boring. People who don't like golf consider watching the Masters to be a chore. Similarly, if you don't like reality TV, Survivor is probably not for you. Most of these "experts" who say that soccer is boring are not fans of the game and are not qualified to give an analysis of the sport. They are welcome to their opinions, but you know what they say about opinions....
Another argument I have heard recently is that while soccer is popular among kids, these participants fail to remain interested into adulthood. The main fallacy with this argument is that you are comparing participation with interest. Of course most people who play soccer through high school don't play after. They get jobs and have families and don't necessarily have time to commit to play a team sport. Lots of folks take up solitary exercise regimes to stay in shape. I guarantee you that the same is true for basketball, football and baseball. Furthermore, kids happen to enjoy and participate in lots of other activities that don't necessarily continue through adulthood. A large number of kids in America own a bike at some point before going to college. While in college, many find bicycles to be useful means of transportation in getting around campuses that often do not allow cars. After college, most people do not ride bikes. I have never heard anyone talk about how bicycles fail to hold interest into adulthood. And by the way, the Tour de France happens to be the only race that Americans even know or remotely care about throughout the year. Since it is the premier event for cycling, this is not a surprising outcome.
Finally, I believe that most sports fans enjoy sampling a taste of different sports from time to time. Most Olympic sports are not popular outside of the context of the Olympics. Every once in a while, I find it refreshing to learn something new about a different sport and read about people who probably won't make millions of dollars in their sport. I certainly enjoy the break of hearing Self-Important Star #2 from New York talk about how undervalued he is. I also think that sampling different sports keeps you interested in your "core" sports. For example, if football were played year-round, we wouldn't anticipate the start of the season as much. Soccer season is one of the ways I fill the void from basketball season to the start of football season.
So enjoy whatever sports you like to participate in, watch those you find compelling and do yourself a favor and ignore the sports talk hosts when they try to bait an argument. It just means that the supposedly "interesting" sports must really not be compelling at the moment if talking about how uninteresting other sports are seems like a viable topic for their show.
Quick aside--Is there anything more rediculous than moving a sports franchise and not renaming the team? A new name is especially needed when the team has a name that is based on something that is unique for a specific city or region. In the above example, the Teamen used to play in New England, where the name made sense. In Jacksonville, FL, the name sounds like a play on the fact that sweet tea is a popular, and delicious, drink. With the exception of teams like the Raiders, where the name is the team, a new name should accompany a team to its new city. Now back to my original rant.
I enjoy checking up on the results from the European leagues and especially the English Premier League. My favorite team is Arsenal. This is because I played on a team called Arsenal when I was 11. I also happen to be a fan of the more traditional American sports (Basketball and Football). Almost every soccer fan I know happens to be a fairly knowledgeable overall sports fan and also loves at least one of the "major" American sports.
The reason for this post is to clear up many inaccuracies that I still hear regarding soccer in the American sports media. While driving home, I can usually expect at least once a week to here the local sports talk yackers talk about how much soccer sucks or how it is "being crammed down our throats". This tactic, of course, elicits a soccer fan to try and come to the rescue and the hosts get to have fun at the poor guy's expense and then pat themselves on the back for showin him up.
A common harangue I hear against soccer is that no one cares unless the World Cup is on. This argument is silly. Interest in any event peaks when the biggest and most important games are played. Regular season college basketball and professional basketball ratings generally suck. But once you get to March Madness or the NBA Finals, the ratings increase and more casual fans take an interest. The same is true for soccer. People recognize that the most important tournament is the World Cup and those inclined to do so tune in to watch. When the US played in the 2002 World Cup in South Korea and Japan, their games were played in the middle of the night on weeknights no less. During a time of day when your average viewer is likely unemployed, alcoholic, insomniac or in college, ESPN drew ratings for those games that were better than weekend broadcasts for supposedly "better" sports.
Another common argument against soccer is that it is boring. A soccer match is very similar to hockey or in some respects, baseball. Like baseball, at any time, something could happen, so you have to pay attention so that you don't miss it. Soccer is not a good sport for TV primarily because the most important part of the game is what is happening away from the ball. Much like hockey, players are constantly trying to move to open space and hoping that the teammate with the ball can deliver it to them. When I watch a match, most of the time I am anticipating the next pass and hoping the string of events needed for success will play out. The anticipation is the most exciting part of a soccer game for most fans.
My other counter to the boring argument is that most sports, TV programs, or other performances for which you are not a fan are indeed boring. People who don't like golf consider watching the Masters to be a chore. Similarly, if you don't like reality TV, Survivor is probably not for you. Most of these "experts" who say that soccer is boring are not fans of the game and are not qualified to give an analysis of the sport. They are welcome to their opinions, but you know what they say about opinions....
Another argument I have heard recently is that while soccer is popular among kids, these participants fail to remain interested into adulthood. The main fallacy with this argument is that you are comparing participation with interest. Of course most people who play soccer through high school don't play after. They get jobs and have families and don't necessarily have time to commit to play a team sport. Lots of folks take up solitary exercise regimes to stay in shape. I guarantee you that the same is true for basketball, football and baseball. Furthermore, kids happen to enjoy and participate in lots of other activities that don't necessarily continue through adulthood. A large number of kids in America own a bike at some point before going to college. While in college, many find bicycles to be useful means of transportation in getting around campuses that often do not allow cars. After college, most people do not ride bikes. I have never heard anyone talk about how bicycles fail to hold interest into adulthood. And by the way, the Tour de France happens to be the only race that Americans even know or remotely care about throughout the year. Since it is the premier event for cycling, this is not a surprising outcome.
Finally, I believe that most sports fans enjoy sampling a taste of different sports from time to time. Most Olympic sports are not popular outside of the context of the Olympics. Every once in a while, I find it refreshing to learn something new about a different sport and read about people who probably won't make millions of dollars in their sport. I certainly enjoy the break of hearing Self-Important Star #2 from New York talk about how undervalued he is. I also think that sampling different sports keeps you interested in your "core" sports. For example, if football were played year-round, we wouldn't anticipate the start of the season as much. Soccer season is one of the ways I fill the void from basketball season to the start of football season.
So enjoy whatever sports you like to participate in, watch those you find compelling and do yourself a favor and ignore the sports talk hosts when they try to bait an argument. It just means that the supposedly "interesting" sports must really not be compelling at the moment if talking about how uninteresting other sports are seems like a viable topic for their show.
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Lawn Mower Blade Sharpener and Costco
I finally got to use my new sharpening tool and it worked really well. Along with some other minor maintenance on the mower (e.g. cleaning out the muck of 3+ years), the machine now works like a charm. It was clearly working better than before and my lovely Bride even commented that the cutting looked "cleaner" than the last time I mowed. This wasn't enough to cause me to break into song or even pull a Victor Kiam (think back to those old Remington Electric Shaver ads), but it made me quite proud.
On a related note, I purchased a new tool while at Costco last night: a 13 foot extended branch trimmer. It got me thinking about how incredibly weird a store Costco is. It is one of the few stores that you can impulsively purchase hundreds of dollars worth of merchandise and still feel like you are saving money. I rank them right up there with the Disney corporation in their ability to separate you from your hard-earned cash.
Here is the way my trip last night transpired:
While picking up the tiny one, the daycare informed us that we were running low on diapers and wipes. Since Costco sells these items in quantities that make you feel like having triplets could be a feasible option and at a reasonably good price, I decide to make the trip after the baby is put to bed. Stated purpose of the trip: purchase diapers and wipes.
The Bride was suffering from a cold and going through tissues at an alarming rate so I decide on the way there to also pick up a gross of tissues. Impulse rating (1 through 10 with 10 being the most impulsive): 3.
Picked up a case of Gatorade bottles to support the Bride in her efforts to stay hydrated while sick. Impulse rating: 2 (just means I am thoughtful).
Realized I was running out of frozen waffles after picking up the tissues. While crossing the store, I see the 13 foot extending trimming tool. The Bride and I had been talking about trimming our Crepe Myrtle so I pick up this item and add it to the cart. Impulse rating: 7. Continue on after getting the trimmer and get the waffles. Impulse rating: 4 (we had noted over the weekend that we were running low and I eat them, so back off!).
On the way over to the diaper/wipes area, I see the socks area. Knowing that the Bride has been coveting new socks, I decide to check and see if the have any dark-colored women's dress socks. They don't. But they do have a rather impressive selection of men's slacks. I need a pair of tan slacks, so I look and there is a pair of Tommy Hilfiger slacks in my size. Into the cart they go. They also have tan men's dress socks there. One pack to go with the pants. Impulse rating: 8.
Finally reach the diapers. Two giant boxes of diapers and two boxes of wipes. The wee one will have a clean tushy for the foreseeable future. Impulse rating: 1. Since it was the stated purpose of the trip, it cannot be an impulse. Time to head to the checkout lines.
One the way there, I pass the multi-vitamins. I remember that I ran out of vitamins last week. I grab a bottle of Flintstones with roughly enough vitamins to keep Secretariat in good health for about 1 year. "Flintstones?" you may ask. I hate taking vitamins and since they taste good, I remember. Impulse rating: 7.
So, my simple errand to buy diapers and wipes turned into a $255 shopping adventure. You have to give Costco credit: Where else can you buy bulk baby supplies, decent men's fashion, lawn and garden tools, frozen food and health supplies all at once?
Perhaps the most alarming thing about this trip is that I realized the next morning that I have almost finished my industrial drum of Listerine. This means I will have to go back in about 1 or 2 weeks....
If you are still wondering what the heck I meant with the Victor Kiam reference earlier, here is a link that removes all the suspense.
On a related note, I purchased a new tool while at Costco last night: a 13 foot extended branch trimmer. It got me thinking about how incredibly weird a store Costco is. It is one of the few stores that you can impulsively purchase hundreds of dollars worth of merchandise and still feel like you are saving money. I rank them right up there with the Disney corporation in their ability to separate you from your hard-earned cash.
Here is the way my trip last night transpired:
While picking up the tiny one, the daycare informed us that we were running low on diapers and wipes. Since Costco sells these items in quantities that make you feel like having triplets could be a feasible option and at a reasonably good price, I decide to make the trip after the baby is put to bed. Stated purpose of the trip: purchase diapers and wipes.
The Bride was suffering from a cold and going through tissues at an alarming rate so I decide on the way there to also pick up a gross of tissues. Impulse rating (1 through 10 with 10 being the most impulsive): 3.
Picked up a case of Gatorade bottles to support the Bride in her efforts to stay hydrated while sick. Impulse rating: 2 (just means I am thoughtful).
Realized I was running out of frozen waffles after picking up the tissues. While crossing the store, I see the 13 foot extending trimming tool. The Bride and I had been talking about trimming our Crepe Myrtle so I pick up this item and add it to the cart. Impulse rating: 7. Continue on after getting the trimmer and get the waffles. Impulse rating: 4 (we had noted over the weekend that we were running low and I eat them, so back off!).
On the way over to the diaper/wipes area, I see the socks area. Knowing that the Bride has been coveting new socks, I decide to check and see if the have any dark-colored women's dress socks. They don't. But they do have a rather impressive selection of men's slacks. I need a pair of tan slacks, so I look and there is a pair of Tommy Hilfiger slacks in my size. Into the cart they go. They also have tan men's dress socks there. One pack to go with the pants. Impulse rating: 8.
Finally reach the diapers. Two giant boxes of diapers and two boxes of wipes. The wee one will have a clean tushy for the foreseeable future. Impulse rating: 1. Since it was the stated purpose of the trip, it cannot be an impulse. Time to head to the checkout lines.
One the way there, I pass the multi-vitamins. I remember that I ran out of vitamins last week. I grab a bottle of Flintstones with roughly enough vitamins to keep Secretariat in good health for about 1 year. "Flintstones?" you may ask. I hate taking vitamins and since they taste good, I remember. Impulse rating: 7.
So, my simple errand to buy diapers and wipes turned into a $255 shopping adventure. You have to give Costco credit: Where else can you buy bulk baby supplies, decent men's fashion, lawn and garden tools, frozen food and health supplies all at once?
Perhaps the most alarming thing about this trip is that I realized the next morning that I have almost finished my industrial drum of Listerine. This means I will have to go back in about 1 or 2 weeks....
If you are still wondering what the heck I meant with the Victor Kiam reference earlier, here is a link that removes all the suspense.
Monday, May 09, 2005
Soccer
I play on a recreational soccer team. I know that most people are supposed to stop playing team sports after high school, but I need to exercise and playing on a team is definitely something to look forward to. I have played on the same team since 2001 and we have had mixed success. One time we won the regular season title and with the exception of last season, have always qualified for the playoffs.
Last season, we actually played well, but for some strange reason failed to win a single game. Some of the games were just bad luck. Almost all of the games were competitive and I believe we gave up 3 goals in two games, but otherwise held our opponents to two goals or fewer. We tied 3 games and lost five and never scored more than one goal in a game.
This season I am playing keeper for the first time as a full time option. I have played every position on the field over my playing career and am a comfortable field player. I filled in at keeper last season after our normal keeper was injured and subsequently retired. No one likes seeing anyone get injured in a recreational game. It is so sad when it happens.
So far this season, our team is playing great! Here is a recap of the season to date:
Game 1 (White)
This was a typical game to get all of the mistakes out of your system. Our team jumped out to a 1-0 lead. Played ball control really well in the first half. I misplayed a corner kick and the ball slipped into the net. Halftime score: 1-1.
Second half starts off well. We score about 10 minutes in and try to hold onto the lead as time expires. With 5 minutes left we still lead 2-1 but our team is tired and no longer winning balls in the midfield. Two times they break through our defense with two strikers and just me defending the goal and of course they score both times. Full time result: 3-2 loss.
I thought the team played well over all, but just ran out of gas.
Game 2 (Maroon)
Playing on a new field this week. Half the field was covered in grass and half in dirt. The field also sloped downhill toward the dirt. We chose to defend the dirt in the first half and take the downhill run in the second half.
We jumped out to a quick 1-0 lead on a pretty goal from one of our strikers that found the inside of the post. A few minutes later, I was tested for the first time with a point blank shot and made a decent reflex save. We score again on a pretty breakaway. Halftime score: 2-0 lead.
In the second half, we keep applying pressure. With about 15 mintues to play, the other team scores a nice goal on a looping header that just is out of my reach and sneeks inside the post. A hand ball in the penalty box leads to an insurance goal for the good guys and the full time result is a 3-1 victory. This is our first victory since last Spring. Like Sir Robin and his merry band of minstrels, there was much rejoicing.
On the bad side, one player on each team was injured during the game. One of their players had a collision with their own goalkeeper and knocked his head. He did not return to the game, but seemed OK afterward. One of our players turned an ankle in the second half and did not return to the game. Hopefully the three week break will allow him time to heal.
Game 3 (Yellow)
This team had a few very skilled players, but did not play team ball as well as we did. They were also one of the friendliest teams we have ever faced. Really good sports and no real sniping during the game.
We scored very quickly to open the game. They had a few good opportunities to even the match up. The best was a long ball that one of their strikers tried to direct toward the goal. I got a hand on it and slowed it down and deflected it enough to make the save. We added a penalty kick for a hand ball and had a nice 2-0 halftime lead.
In the second half, the yellow team made some adjustments and changed keepers. Their starting keeper moved to striker and within 5 minutes had a 0ne-on-one opportunity for goal. I cut down his angle and he tried to push it past me but it bounced off my shin and out of bounds. It was a pretty evenly played second half. I made about 4 saves and their goalie was actually lucky not to get scored on. Full time result: 2-0 victory.
We now have 6 points on two victories and one defeat. We have scored at least 2 goals in every game and have reduced our goals against average to 1.33. No injuries for either team in this game.
Wish us luck for next week.
Last season, we actually played well, but for some strange reason failed to win a single game. Some of the games were just bad luck. Almost all of the games were competitive and I believe we gave up 3 goals in two games, but otherwise held our opponents to two goals or fewer. We tied 3 games and lost five and never scored more than one goal in a game.
This season I am playing keeper for the first time as a full time option. I have played every position on the field over my playing career and am a comfortable field player. I filled in at keeper last season after our normal keeper was injured and subsequently retired. No one likes seeing anyone get injured in a recreational game. It is so sad when it happens.
So far this season, our team is playing great! Here is a recap of the season to date:
Game 1 (White)
This was a typical game to get all of the mistakes out of your system. Our team jumped out to a 1-0 lead. Played ball control really well in the first half. I misplayed a corner kick and the ball slipped into the net. Halftime score: 1-1.
Second half starts off well. We score about 10 minutes in and try to hold onto the lead as time expires. With 5 minutes left we still lead 2-1 but our team is tired and no longer winning balls in the midfield. Two times they break through our defense with two strikers and just me defending the goal and of course they score both times. Full time result: 3-2 loss.
I thought the team played well over all, but just ran out of gas.
Game 2 (Maroon)
Playing on a new field this week. Half the field was covered in grass and half in dirt. The field also sloped downhill toward the dirt. We chose to defend the dirt in the first half and take the downhill run in the second half.
We jumped out to a quick 1-0 lead on a pretty goal from one of our strikers that found the inside of the post. A few minutes later, I was tested for the first time with a point blank shot and made a decent reflex save. We score again on a pretty breakaway. Halftime score: 2-0 lead.
In the second half, we keep applying pressure. With about 15 mintues to play, the other team scores a nice goal on a looping header that just is out of my reach and sneeks inside the post. A hand ball in the penalty box leads to an insurance goal for the good guys and the full time result is a 3-1 victory. This is our first victory since last Spring. Like Sir Robin and his merry band of minstrels, there was much rejoicing.
On the bad side, one player on each team was injured during the game. One of their players had a collision with their own goalkeeper and knocked his head. He did not return to the game, but seemed OK afterward. One of our players turned an ankle in the second half and did not return to the game. Hopefully the three week break will allow him time to heal.
Game 3 (Yellow)
This team had a few very skilled players, but did not play team ball as well as we did. They were also one of the friendliest teams we have ever faced. Really good sports and no real sniping during the game.
We scored very quickly to open the game. They had a few good opportunities to even the match up. The best was a long ball that one of their strikers tried to direct toward the goal. I got a hand on it and slowed it down and deflected it enough to make the save. We added a penalty kick for a hand ball and had a nice 2-0 halftime lead.
In the second half, the yellow team made some adjustments and changed keepers. Their starting keeper moved to striker and within 5 minutes had a 0ne-on-one opportunity for goal. I cut down his angle and he tried to push it past me but it bounced off my shin and out of bounds. It was a pretty evenly played second half. I made about 4 saves and their goalie was actually lucky not to get scored on. Full time result: 2-0 victory.
We now have 6 points on two victories and one defeat. We have scored at least 2 goals in every game and have reduced our goals against average to 1.33. No injuries for either team in this game.
Wish us luck for next week.
Episode 5: The Nigerians Strike Back
Looks like the Nigerians won't be going away so easily. I missed their call from 5:30 AM (thankfully, I turn the volume on my phone down at night). Anyone reading this who might have an idea of how to handle this, I am open to suggestions. They obviously really need to speak to someone.
Friday, May 06, 2005
Lawn Mower Blade Sharpener
I have purchased a new lawn-mower blade sharpener this week. Not that this is an earth shattering event for me or for the lawn mower, but it did come with a fairly lame story.
I decided to purchase this tool after perusing several different models on the internet. I personally went with the EZ grip, which seems easy to use, requires no power equipment, and should not result in my losing any digits.
Since I work in an office, I decided to have the item shipped to my work address. Like most other times before, I figured it was better to send it to work, than risk having the mail carrier or UPS delivery person decide whether or not to leave it next to my front door.
At my office, the shipping manager likes to be notified ahead of time when you are going to receive a personal shipment. Our office receives very few shipments, but personal ones do not have to be logged, so I guess it saves him time. Anyway, I go to tell him about it and after describing the shipment in detail, he requests an e-mail with all of this restated. I decide to send the following:
Great. Now everyone gets to know that a lawn-mower blade sharpener is arriving soon with my name on it. Not that anyone really cares, it just sucks to have something that mundane that no one really has to know about broadcast to such a wide audience. I have seen worse such as replies meant for an individual that contain somewhat personal content that end up going to EVERYONE in the company. I just prefer to be the one that gets to laugh at those people instead of having to wallow in their cesspool.
Anyway, the sharpener arrived yesterday and I fought the urge to send a message to everyone to let them know it made it here safely.
Coming Attractions: Maiden Voyage of the Sharpener!
I decided to purchase this tool after perusing several different models on the internet. I personally went with the EZ grip, which seems easy to use, requires no power equipment, and should not result in my losing any digits.
Since I work in an office, I decided to have the item shipped to my work address. Like most other times before, I figured it was better to send it to work, than risk having the mail carrier or UPS delivery person decide whether or not to leave it next to my front door.
At my office, the shipping manager likes to be notified ahead of time when you are going to receive a personal shipment. Our office receives very few shipments, but personal ones do not have to be logged, so I guess it saves him time. Anyway, I go to tell him about it and after describing the shipment in detail, he requests an e-mail with all of this restated. I decide to send the following:
Hi John,Unfortunately, that day my e-mail program had lost the ability to use auto-complete for names in the "To:" field of e-mails. Rather than look up the shipping manager's address, i chose to reply to an earler e-mail he sent. The e-mail he had sent had been to an internal group that includes, my boss, all the customer service reps, the marketing department, and the company CEO.
I ordered a Lawn mower blade sharpener from Country Home Products for delivery to this office. It should get here within a week or so. It is a small item that is about the size of a screwdriver.
Thanks,
Doug
Great. Now everyone gets to know that a lawn-mower blade sharpener is arriving soon with my name on it. Not that anyone really cares, it just sucks to have something that mundane that no one really has to know about broadcast to such a wide audience. I have seen worse such as replies meant for an individual that contain somewhat personal content that end up going to EVERYONE in the company. I just prefer to be the one that gets to laugh at those people instead of having to wallow in their cesspool.
Anyway, the sharpener arrived yesterday and I fought the urge to send a message to everyone to let them know it made it here safely.
Coming Attractions: Maiden Voyage of the Sharpener!
Resolution to Nigerian Story
Part 2
I am happy to report that I seem to have a positive update on the Nigerian situation.
Yesterday, my cell phone rings and the familiar Nigerian number pops up. I decide to let it go to voicemail. The message was much like all the others: confused words that I cannot understand.
Less than five minutes later, the phone rings again. I look at the caller ID and see the Nigerian number and this time I decide to answer.
Me: Hello, this is Doug who has never been to Nigeria.
Nigerian: (long pause) Hallo?
Me: Hello?
Nigerian: Hallo?
Me: Hello!
Nigerian: (Words in language I can't understand. Remember, the official language of Nigeria is English)
Me: You have the wrong number.
Nigerian: Hallo?
Me: Wrong number.
Nigerian: My number is 80380...
Me: (Interrupting) Hold on, I don't need your phone number. Whoever you are trying to call does not live at this number.
Nigerian: OK (Hangs up).
This is the first time I feel like the person on the other end of the phone has even remotely understood what I have tried to tell them.
Progress!
I am happy to report that I seem to have a positive update on the Nigerian situation.
Yesterday, my cell phone rings and the familiar Nigerian number pops up. I decide to let it go to voicemail. The message was much like all the others: confused words that I cannot understand.
Less than five minutes later, the phone rings again. I look at the caller ID and see the Nigerian number and this time I decide to answer.
Me: Hello, this is Doug who has never been to Nigeria.
Nigerian: (long pause) Hallo?
Me: Hello?
Nigerian: Hallo?
Me: Hello!
Nigerian: (Words in language I can't understand. Remember, the official language of Nigeria is English)
Me: You have the wrong number.
Nigerian: Hallo?
Me: Wrong number.
Nigerian: My number is 80380...
Me: (Interrupting) Hold on, I don't need your phone number. Whoever you are trying to call does not live at this number.
Nigerian: OK (Hangs up).
This is the first time I feel like the person on the other end of the phone has even remotely understood what I have tried to tell them.
Progress!
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
First Post- My Nigerian Story
Part 1
About two weeks ago, I received a call on my cell phone from a person with a horrible connection who spoke no English. Knowing that all of my friends and family speak English, I said, "wrong number" a number of times before the caller hung up on me. The caller immediately called back and I just let it go to voicemail figuring they would realize the message is not anyone they know and that will be that. The caller leaves a message in a language I do not understand.
A few days later, I receive another call. I let it go to voicemail. Next 3 days, same drill. I do some research on the phone number and find it is from Nigeria. I am convinced I know no one there. I get another call on Saturday and this time the message left contains English telling me I should "call my sister in Nigeria." Unless my dad made some trips I am unaware of, I am fairly certain the only sister I have is in Raleigh, NC.
Feeling sorry that someone desperately wants to speak with their sibling here in the USA, I fire up Google to determine if there is a way to tell this person in her native language that she has the wrong number. In doing so, I discover that there are about 50 different languages spoken in Nigeria. It is probably going to be beyond my meager mental capabilities to figure out how to say "wrong number" in all 50. Interestingly, this Nigerian language web site states, "English is the official language in Nigeria. We were colonized by the British, obtaining our independence on October 1, 1960." WTF! Now I am really confused. According to this website, there is a good chance whoever is calling can speak English.
Fast forward to today. I see the familiar Nigerian number pop up on my cell phone. I answer in clear English, the official language of Nigeria. The poor bastards on the other end don't understand a word I am saying and repeatedly try to give me a phone number to have some person call their sister in Nigeria.
Until these calls started, the only interaction with Nigeria that I had previously was receiving a few hundred e-mails from the wife/child/mistress/pet of a deceased oil minister/president/foreign minister asking if I could help transfer a few million $ out of their country (Naturally, I declined). So, beyond letting these calls continue to go to voicemail and then creating a website based on their content, is there any way you can think of to communicate to this person that she is dialing the wrong number?
About two weeks ago, I received a call on my cell phone from a person with a horrible connection who spoke no English. Knowing that all of my friends and family speak English, I said, "wrong number" a number of times before the caller hung up on me. The caller immediately called back and I just let it go to voicemail figuring they would realize the message is not anyone they know and that will be that. The caller leaves a message in a language I do not understand.
A few days later, I receive another call. I let it go to voicemail. Next 3 days, same drill. I do some research on the phone number and find it is from Nigeria. I am convinced I know no one there. I get another call on Saturday and this time the message left contains English telling me I should "call my sister in Nigeria." Unless my dad made some trips I am unaware of, I am fairly certain the only sister I have is in Raleigh, NC.
Feeling sorry that someone desperately wants to speak with their sibling here in the USA, I fire up Google to determine if there is a way to tell this person in her native language that she has the wrong number. In doing so, I discover that there are about 50 different languages spoken in Nigeria. It is probably going to be beyond my meager mental capabilities to figure out how to say "wrong number" in all 50. Interestingly, this Nigerian language web site states, "English is the official language in Nigeria. We were colonized by the British, obtaining our independence on October 1, 1960." WTF! Now I am really confused. According to this website, there is a good chance whoever is calling can speak English.
Fast forward to today. I see the familiar Nigerian number pop up on my cell phone. I answer in clear English, the official language of Nigeria. The poor bastards on the other end don't understand a word I am saying and repeatedly try to give me a phone number to have some person call their sister in Nigeria.
Until these calls started, the only interaction with Nigeria that I had previously was receiving a few hundred e-mails from the wife/child/mistress/pet of a deceased oil minister/president/foreign minister asking if I could help transfer a few million $ out of their country (Naturally, I declined). So, beyond letting these calls continue to go to voicemail and then creating a website based on their content, is there any way you can think of to communicate to this person that she is dialing the wrong number?
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