Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Envirolets

http://envirolet.com

Waterless toilets.

Let that one just hang there for a while. In theory using less water is a good idea, but composting one's own feces in a box within a structure is a bit of a trade-off. Open-field defecation may actually be more palatable.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Barf

As a father of four, you may be surprised to learn that I am somewhat petrified of barf. Greatly fear doing it myself, abhor the thought of it, don't really even like jokes about it. 

So today, much to my chagrin, I was full-scale barfed on by my middle daughter (27 months old). The poor thing was running a fever and we had just gotten out of the car. As I was carrying her into the house, she unloaded all over my shirt and pants. And to be fair, all over herself. 

I started to wonder if I am perhaps lucky for going so long as a father without this happening before. Sure, when infants, the kids have crapped, spit-up, drooled and peed on me. For some reason, that didn't really bother me. The horror of looking down and seeing recognizable food items on my shirt was not exactly the best part of my day. 

After getting the sickly little girl inside, I cleaned her up, read her some stories and rocked her to sleep. I have checked on her about 4 times since she went to sleep and all seems well. Here is to her speedy recovery.

Monday, July 14, 2008

I made the Graphjam Blog

Problem is they screwed up the axes of my graph, which makes it not nearly as funny. It was supposed to go from 1 to 5 and 5 to 1, respectively, for men and women. Cutting of the last bit definitely hurts the impact. Oh well.

Go to the voting pages to vote for my graph if you want it to make the main site. If not, just go straight to hell.


more song chart memes

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Presidential Commentary

Earlier in the day, Eliana, (now 3 and a half), Jessa and Zev (both 22 months) were excited to see the president's helicopter fly over our house. The kids looked and pointed. I told Eliana that the president of the United States, flies in that machine. She added, "of America!"

Later, while eating lunch, we were talking about seeing the helicopter with Dorann and she asked Eliana if she knew the president's name. Before I give her response, know that we generally don't discuss politics with the kids and have never given her our opinion of the current administration. Her reply:

"Turkey!"

Sunday, January 06, 2008

How are the Picks, Part 5

FIESTA BOWL
Jan. 2, West Virginia (10-2) vs. Oklahoma (11-2)
My Pick: Sooners 31, Mountaineers 23
Result: Mountaineers 48, Sooners 28

WVU came out swinging and rolled in this game. OU comes out flat in the BCS yet again. I was very surprised at this result and am not sure what this means for Stoops as a coach. Lots of good coaches go through stretches of good and bad bowl results. Nebraska's Osbourne was the perennial bowl loser before turning the corner and dominating the mid 90s. Congrats to Stewart on winning a job with the victory, but I believe such appointments are almost always destined for failure.

ORANGE BOWL
Jan. 3, Kansas (11-1) vs. Virginia Tech (11-2)
My Pick: Hokies 27, Kansas 18
Result: Kansas 24, Hokies 21

Kansas comes in and at least proves my analysis sorely lacking. If Va. Tech at least had any offense, they probably would have easily won this game.

INTERNATIONAL BOWL
Jan. 5, Rutgers (7-5) vs. Ball State (7-5)
My Pick: Rutgers 28, Ball State 24
Result: Rutgers 52, Ball State 30

Rutgers dominates in game at held the interest of tens of fans.

GMAC BOWL
Jan. 6, Tulsa (9-4) vs. Bowling Green (8-4)
My Pick: Tulsa 33, Bowling Green 23.
Result: Tulsa 63, Bowling Green 7

Holy shit. I am guessing Arkansas would have actually liked to have an offense that could do that week in and week out versus what Houston Nutt gave them this year and last.

Record in this post: 2-2
Cumulative record for Bowl Season: 16-13

At least I am guaranteed a winning record for bowl season at this point.

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

How are the Picks, Part 4

OUTBACK BOWL
Jan. 1, Wisconsin (9-3) vs. Tennessee (9-4)
My Pick: Wisconsin 9, Tennessee 8
Result: Tennessee 21, Wisconsin 17

Boring game between two boring teams. Wow. I am on the edge of my seat for a Vol win. Yeeha.
COTTON BOWL
Jan. 1, Missouri (11-2) vs. Arkansas (8-4)
My Pick: Missouri 35, Arkansas 23
Result: Missouri 38, Arkansas 7

Arkansas was even less into the game than expected. I don't care what McFadden says, he was mentally checked out and thinking about not hurting himself for the huge signing bonus he will get post NFL draft day.

GATOR BOWL
Jan. 1, Virginia (9-3) vs. Texas Tech (8-4)
My Pick: Red Raiders 56, UVa 35
Result: Red Raiders 31, UVa 28

Tech guts out a win in a game featuring a horrible leg injury late in the 4th. Much closer than I thought, but Al Groh's inability to be imaginative is always something you can count on.

CAPITAL ONE
Jan. 1, Michigan (8-4) vs. Florida (9-3)
My Pick: Gators 49, Wolverines 19
Result: Wolverines 41, Gators 35

I should have listened to my doubts about the ability of the Gator defense to hold any opponent down. Kudos to Carr and Michigan for a well played win. Darts to the Gator defenders for their abundance of trash talking in the game. I would hope Meyer will remind them in the future that supposed SEC supremacy does not matter once the whistle blows against an equally talented opponent.

ROSE BOWL
Jan. 1, USC (10-2) vs. Illinois (9-3)
My Pick: USC 39, Illinois 17
Result: USC 49, Illinois 17

USC pulls way away in the second half as Illinois finally wakes up and realizes that they are Illinois.

SUGAR BOWL
Jan. 1, Hawaii (12-0) vs. Georgia (10-2)
My Pick: Georgia 38, Hawaii 21
Result: Georgia 41, Hawaii 10

The result never in doubt in this game, too bad Brennan actually completed any passes whatsoever.

Record in this post: 4-2
Cumulative record for Bowl Season: 14-11

How are the Picks, Part 3

INDEPENDENCE BOWL
Dec. 30, Colorado (6-6) vs. Alabama (6-6)
My Pick: Bama 23, Colorado 17
Result: Bama 30, Colorado 24

Both teams seemed to genuinely want to win this. The Tide jumped out to a lead that the Buffs could not overcome. Both teams are likely very happy to be leaving Shreveport.

ARMED FORCES BOWL
Dec. 31, Cal (6-6) vs. Air Force (9-3)
My Pick: Falcons 35, Bears 21
Result: Bears 42, Falcons 36

After jumping out to a huge lead, the Bears finally decide to run it and throw it down the Falcons throat behind their backup QA. I guessTedford finally woke up and took an interest in coaching for a living.

SUN BOWL
Dec. 31, USF (9-3) vs. Oregon (8-4)
My Pick: USF 42, Oregon 17
Result: Oregon 56, USF 21

Holy shit! I fell quite the fool. Not even close. Where was this Oregon team the last three weeks of the season.

HUMANITARIAN BOWL
Dec. 31, Fresno State (8-4) vs. Georgia Tech (7-5)
My Pick: Georgia Tech 26, Fresno State 23
Result: Fresno State 40, Georgia Tech 28

Interim coaches are taking it on the chin this year. Fresno finishes strong.

MUSIC CITY BOWL
Dec. 31, Florida State (7-5) vs. Kentucky (7-5)
My Pick: Kentucky 49, FSU 20
Result: Kentucky 35, FSU 28

FSU keeps it much closer that I thought they would. Bobby Bowden heads into 2008 with a one game lead over Jo Pa. This could get interesting.On the other side of the ball, UK to return to doormat obscurity next season.

INSIGHT BOWL
Dec. 31, Indiana (7-5) vs. Oklahoma State (6-6)
My Pick: OSU 44, Indiana 14
Result: OSU 49, Indiana 33

Indiana still has a fine season considering all they had to deal with. Let's hope they can keep it up next season. OSU will head into 2008 with some momentum, but don't expect any major leaps forward.

CHICK-FIL-A BOWL
Dec. 31, Clemson (9-3) vs. Auburn (8-4)
My Pick: Clemson 35, Auburn 31
Result: Auburn 23, Clemson 20 (OT)

I thought this game would be close and it was. The difference was the Auburn defense. Muschamp is sure to get a HC job in the next year or two.

Record in this post: 3-4
Cumulative record for Bowl Season: 10-9

Sunday, December 30, 2007

Musburger


"You can cut a snake's head off, but he continues to live!" - Brent Musburger, 1997 Rose Bowl

A single sentence that haunts me to this day. I watched that Rose Bowl game, only interested in the outcome because, my team, the Florida Gators, stood to have a chance at the MNC of college football, only if Ohio State could somehow manage to beat Jake "the snake" Plummer and Arizona State. At that moment, his statement, while perplexing, indicated the Gators' chance of getting the title was small as ASU had just gone ahead with time dwindling in the game. After OSU answered to take the lead, it dawned on me how weird that exclamation was.

Did Musburger have inside information the Plummer was some alien species? Had he actually practiced that line ahead of time (a la Al Michaels in the 1980 Olympic Hockey game between the USA and USSR) in the event the Plummer would lead ASU to an important late game score? Was Brent a closet biology buff who wanted to show his prowess for knowing that dead snakes may not exactly be dead?

Ever since then, if Musburger is announcing a game, I find myself remembering that quote. Obsessive? Perhaps, but as obsessions go, it doesn't interfere with my day-to-day life.

One weird thing about Musburger is that he really evokes some primal responses in folks. a friend once referred to him as "Musfucker" when she didn't like his characterization of her team during a game. Needless to say, holiday cards were not sent to him that year either.

Friday, December 28, 2007

How are the Picks, Part 2

Exposing my soft underbelly for more insult:

MOTOR CITY BOWL
Dec. 26, Central Michigan (8-5) vs. Purdue (7-5)
My Pick: Chippewas 25, Boilermakers 24
Result: Boilermakers 51, Chippewas 48

This game had loads of drama and intrigue for a fairly crappy setup (i.e. rematch in lower tier bowl). Offensive football fans were given a treat (yeah I get the hidden suggestion).

HOLIDAY BOWL
Dec. 27, Arizona State (10-2) vs. Texas (9-3)
My Pick: Texas 27, ASU 23
Result: Texas 52, ASU 34

Wow, Texas ripped a new one for ASU. Unbelievable how little ASU was in the game, but my fears were clearly proven correct concerning ASU.

CHAMPS SPORTS BOWL
Dec. 28, Boston College (10-3) vs. Michigan State (7-5)
My Pick: BC 42, MSU15
Result: BC 24, MSU21

MSU had no business really being in this game yet there they were with two possessions in the last 5 minutes with a chance to tie or take the lead. I may be reading too much into the lower tier bowls, but at this point my feeling is that the PAC 10 is offering up weak showing after weak showing. The Big Ten, surprisingly has done well all things considered. Still too early to comment on ACC, Big 12, Big East and SEC yet.

TEXAS BOWL
Dec. 28, TCU (7-5) vs. Houston (8-4)
My Pick: TCU 24, Houston 20
Result: TCU 20, Houston 13

TCU gave Houston one last chance to tie the game thanks to the prevent defense, but since Houston could must no offense, it didn't matter.

EMERALD BOWL
Dec. 28, Maryland (6-6) vs. Oregon State (8-4)
My Pick: Oregon State 31, Maryland 24
Result: Oregon State 21, Maryland 14

Terps lack of offensive firepower hurt them badly. PAC 10 picks up first bowl win of the year.

MEINEKE CAR CARE BOWL
Dec. 29, UConn (9-3) vs. Wake Forest (8-4)
My Pick: UConn 20, Wake 19
Result: Wake 24, UConn 10

At halftime my analysis looked pretty good. Unfortunately for UConn, the game is played in two halves. Excellent game plan and execution by Wake in the second half.

LIBERTY BOWL
Dec. 29, Mississippi State (7-5) vs. UCF (10-3)
My Pick: UCF 19, Mississippi State 13
Result: Mississippi State 10, UCF 3

My analysis concerning Smith and State was spot on. I just figured that UCF was good forabout two touchdowns in the game. State's D shows up huge and wins the game.

ALAMO BOWL
Dec. 29, Penn State (8-4) vs. Texas A&M (7-5)
My Pick: PSU 17, A&M 15
Result: PSU 24, A&M 17

Gary Darnell has coached more teams with the "Interim" tag than perhaps anyone. Unfortunately he never really wins these games so, he will continue to at best be an interim head coach. Joe Pa's squad came up huge in game number 500.

Record in this post: 5-3
Cumulative record for Bowl Season: 7-5

Monday, December 24, 2007

How are the picks, Part 1

The thing I love most about making the picks is seeing how dreadfully awful they can be. Next year I am going to make this a pick-em challenge with other members of the MDGATOR team. But for now, let's review how things are going:

PAPAJOHNS.COM BOWL
Dec. 22, Cincinnati (9-3) vs. Southern Miss (7-5)
My Pick: Bearcats 35, Golden Eagles 17.
Result: Bearcats 31, Golden Eagles 21.

Not so far off. Bearcats were in control for most of the game and USM could not get close enough to seriously challenge.

NEW MEXICO BOWL
Dec. 22, New Mexico (8-4) vs. Nevada (6-6)
My Pick: Nevada 27, New Mexico 24.
Result: New Mexico 23, Nevada 0

Total domination by the Aggies. Jumped out to an early first quarter lead and coasted home. Nevada turns in a historically bad performace, getting shut out for the first time in over 27 years.

LAS VEGAS BOWL Las Vegas
Dec. 22, BYU (10-2) vs. UCLA (6-6)
My Pick: BYU 45, UCLA 16
Result: BYU 17, UCLA 16

At least I was accurate on the UCLA total. UCLA's defense came to play in this game and should have had the win, except for the last second block of a Bruin FG attempt as time expired. Favorite moment of the game was the omni-drunk Paul McGuire giving his take on the UCLA coaching search. He thinks they should keep Walker and hire a Co-Head Coach to go along with him. I cannot fathom how any rational human being would believe that such a scenario would have any chance of success.

HAWAII BOWL Honolulu, Hawaii
Dec. 23, East Carolina (7-5) vs. Boise State (10-2)
My Pick: Broncos 34, Pirates 25
Result: Pirates 41, Broncos 38

An entertaining game that was reminiscent of last year's Fiesta Bowl game featuring Boise State. Great effort and performance by ECU.

Record in this post: 2-2
Cumulative record for Bowl Season: 2-2

Saturday, December 22, 2007

Bowl Game Picks Part II

Continuing my own lame attempts at prognostication:

OUTBACK BOWL Tampa
Jan. 1, 11 a.m. (ESPN) Wisconsin (9-3) vs. Tennessee (9-4)

Two mediocre, boring offensive teams slug it out in the lamest of the New Year's Day Bowls. Tennessee will be without its Offensive Coordinator, WR's coach and 6 players who are ineligible for the game. Wisconsin is from the Big Ten. Great fun for all! Wisconsin 9, Tennessee 8.

COTTON BOWL Dallas
Jan. 1, 11:30 a.m. (FOX) Missouri (11-2) vs. Arkansas (8-4)

Another contractual mismatch. The Cotton Bowl gets first pick of the Big 12 non-BCS teams and fourth non-BCS SEC squad. The biggest shock is when the SEC actually wins this game. This is not to be one of those years. Missouri is undefeated against all teams not named Oklahoma. Arkansas will be coached by someone and who really has any clue how they will respond. Missouri 35, Arkansas 23.

GATOR BOWL Jacksonville
Jan. 1, Noon (CBS) Virginia (9-3) vs. Texas Tech (8-4)

Al Groh's offense vs. Mike Leach's offense. Red Raiders 56, UVa 35.

CAPITAL ONE Orlando, Fla.
Jan. 1, 1 p.m. (ABC) Michigan (8-4) vs. Florida (9-3)

The granddaddy of the non-BCS games pits Michigan in Lloyd Carr's last game against Heisman winner Tim Tebow and the the Florida Gators. Despite the torchability of the Florida secondary, I expect the Gators to have more than enough to take care of a mostly fired Michigan coaching staff and their weak offense. If Rich Rodriguez were coaching this game, I would give Michigan a chance, but then again, they do play in the Big Ten. Oh yeah and Urban Meyer is undefeated lifetime in bowl games. Gators 49, Wolverines 19.

ROSE BOWL Pasadena, Calif.
Jan. 1, 4:30 p.m. (ABC) USC (10-2) vs. Illinois (9-3)

Example #23 of why the BCS is such a joke. Illinois representing the BCS is like Lynne Spears writing a book on parenting tips. Oops, that happened too. USC will once again trounce a joke representative from the Big Ten. Bonus viewer points for being able to follow the mental droppings of Illinois coach Ron Zook during his half time interview. USC 39, Illinois 17.

SUGAR New Orleans
Jan. 1, 8:30 p.m. (FOX) Hawaii (12-0) vs. Georgia (10-2)

Hawaii. Worst undefeated team ever. June Jones is supposedly actively looking for a new job. I am guessing that he does not relish the thought of how his team will be helping to jump start the 2008 Heisman campaign for Tim Tebow when they open the season in the Swamp. As for this game, Hawaii will likely have to chain convicted/acquitted rapist Colt Brennan to his room during their time in New Orleans. Georgia will likely be able to run at will against Hawaii and have a stout enough defense to disrupt Brennan and co. Georgia 38, Hawaii 21.

FIESTA BOWL Glendale, Ariz.
Jan. 2, 8:00 p.m. (FOX) West Virginia (10-2) vs. Oklahoma (11-2)

West Virginia will be coached by an interim and Oklahoma will be looking to erase the memory of last year's fantastic finish against Boise State. Oklahoma's freshman QB Sam Bradford is a name to watch for next year's Heisman. West Virginia could be playing with White, Slaton etc. for the last time depending on the outcome of their coaching search. I say there is a 50% chance some sort of chicanery involving Noel Devine takes over the media in the last 24 hours prior to kickoff. Sooners 31, Mountaineers 23.

ORANGE BOWL Miami
Jan. 3, 8 p.m. (FOX) Kansas (11-1) vs. Virginia Tech (11-2)

If Hawaii is the worst BCS team, then the Orange Bowl is the worst BCS game. Kansas feasted on enough cupcakes this year to almost sate the immense hunger of Mike Mangino. Virgina Tech, on paper appears to have lost once in somewhat fluke circumstances to BC and of course had the blowout against LSU. but when you watch them play, you never feel like you are watch one of the 4 best teams in the country. Hokies 27, Kansas 18.

INTERNATIONAL BOWL Toronto
Jan. 5, Noon (ESPN2) Rutgers (7-5) vs. Ball State (7-5)

To call this the "Who Gives a Shit Bowl" wouldn't adequately distinguish it from about 20 of the other bowls. Ball State is fairly good at putting a scare into BCS teams, but last year that team was Michigan and this year was Nebraska. Rutgers 28, Ball State 24.

GMAC BOWL Mobile, Ala.
Jan. 6, 8 p.m. (ESPN) Tulsa (9-4) vs. Bowling Green (8-4)

Actually a nice matchup for fans of good solid offense. This game has a chance to be tons more entertaining than the last game of the season. Tulsa 33, Bowling Green 23.

BCS TITLE GAME New Orleans
Jan. 7, 8 p.m. (FOX) Ohio State (11-1) vs. LSU (11-2)
Last season: No. 2 Florida 41, No. 1 Ohio State 14

OSU, 0-8 lifetime versus the SEC in bowl games. LSU is perhaps the worst BCS participant since Oklahoma in 2003. OSU plays in the Big Ten. LSU relies on coaching decisions enhanced by the mental Viagra of Les Miles. OSU is actually better balanced this year than last year in that QB Boeckman can have an off day and OSU will still be able to score. LSU should be 100% healthy for the this game which is not good news for OSU. If the game comes down to coaching you have to give the edge to Tressel. If it comes down to athletes, LSU. I think this one is a nail biter and OSU finally gets the SEC monkey off of its back. OSU 23, LSU 21.

Bowl Game Picks

PAPAJOHNS.COM BOWL Birmingham, Ala.
Dec. 22, 1 p.m. (ESPN2) Cincinnati (9-3) vs. Southern Miss (7-5)

Cincinnati should be expected to win this game with a lame duck coaching USM and Brian Kelly looking to impress to land one of the remaining open jobs. Plus my only personal interaction with a USM grad (and former football player there) has lead me to believe steroids are part of the natural ecosystem. Even with such a chemical disadvantage, Bearcats roll: Bearcats 35, Golden Eagles 17.

NEW MEXICO BOWL Albuquerque, N.M.
Dec. 22, 4:30 p.m. (ESPN) New Mexico (8-4) vs. Nevada (6-6)
Last season: San Jose State 20, New Mexico 12

Reason #512 that being a "bowl team" is about as impressive as the title "air breather". This bowl exists to "showcase" a football team from New Mexico against some eligible bowl team. You can see it worked out well last year. Nevada 27, New Mexico 24.

LAS VEGAS BOWL Las Vegas
Dec. 22, 8 p.m. (ESPN) BYU (10-2) vs. UCLA (6-6)
Last season: No. 19 BYU 38, Oregon 8

This bowl seems to exist to allow BYU to take out its aggressions for not being part of the football establishment on a crappy PAC-10 team. You can see how much the win over Oregon last year both boosted BYU and hurt Oregon going into this season. UCLA made the right call in firing Dorrell despite the rash of injuries this year. The only game they lost directly because of the injury situation was Notre Dame (still an inexcusable loss). BYU comes in looking to avenge a loss in a game they dominated. Also, the location of the bowl game is a natural advantage to BYU since as a Mormon institution, its players will be less likely to need to have "what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas". Unfortunately for the Bruins, the outcome of this game will likely be something they want to leave behind. BYU 45, UCLA 16

HAWAII BOWL Honolulu, Hawaii
Dec. 23, 8 p.m. (ESPN) East Carolina (7-5) vs. Boise State (10-2)

Boise State is a fairly good team. ECU is fairly mediocre. Boise played its last game on this very field. Whoop-de-freakin'-doo. Broncos 34, Pirates 25

MOTOR CITY Detroit
Dec. 26, 7:30 p.m. (ESPN) Central Michigan (8-5) vs. Purdue (7-5)

Perhaps my favorite bowl game subspecies is the decent "Have-not" team playing the crappy "Have" team. The non-BCS schools salivate at the chance to show how they really should get more respect from the BCS schools. The joke of the whole thing is that if you have a .500 record in a BCS conference, you are virtually guaranteed (apologies go out to South Carolina) an extra month of practice to jump start spring drills. Most of these coaches could actually care less if they win the game (see BYU vs. Oregon from last season). Chippewas 25, Boilermakers 24

HOLIDAY BOWL San Diego
Dec. 27, 8 p.m. (ESPN) Arizona State (10-2) vs. Texas (9-3)

Back when BYU was a regular participant, the Holiday Bowl was one of the most entertaining bowl games on the docket. These days this bowl treats us to a PAC 10 team that is either feeling slighted for missing out on the BCS or giddy that they are spared from the ignominy of the Emerald Bowl. The Big 12 team that shows up is a wild card. On paper, Texas has no business being in this game. I just can shake the visions of how ASU had BCS opportunity in front of them and then crapped the bed in their last 4 games, which they could have either won all or lost all. A truly powerful team doesn't rely on Mike Stoops' horrendous choices to win that game against Arizona. Texas 27, ASU 23.

CHAMPS SPORTS BOWL Orlando, Fla.
Dec. 28, 5 p.m. (ESPN) Boston College (10-3) vs. Michigan State (7-5)

My other favorite bowl subspecies is the "contractual mismatch". This is a game where the conference choice hierarchy gives a bowl choice X from conference A and choice Y from conference B, where Y-X>2. Michigan State is a crap team from a crap conference. The ACC also sucks, but BC is so much better than MSU. BC 42, MSU15.

TEXAS BOWL Houston
Dec. 28, 8 p.m. (NFL Network) TCU (7-5) vs. Houston (8-4)

Start time says it all for this game. Original programming for a time slot where no one normally watches the NFL Network. TCU gets a slight nod due to coaching stability. TCU 24, Houston 20.

EMERALD BOWL San Francisco
Dec. 28, 8:30 p.m. (ESPN) Maryland (6-6) vs. Oregon State (8-4)

Crappy ACC team travels cross-county to take on PAC 10 team in a city that could care less about college football. The highlight of this game is the commercials from the bowl sponsor. The draw in accepting this bid for Maryland was the savings alone for Friedgen's ever expanding hunger for never ending snack food bowls. Oregon State 31, Maryland 24.

MEINEKE CAR CARE BOWL Charlotte
Dec. 29, 1 p.m. (ESPN) UConn (9-3) vs. Wake Forest (8-4)

Wake Forrest has lived on the edge the last 2 years and Jim Grobe almost parlayed that into a lucrative contract from Arkansas. I guess he has bought himself long term security at Wake, but it does seem to suggest that he knows he can't really compete with the big boys. UConn lived a similarly charmed existence this season until WVU stomped their balls. UConn 20, Wake 19.

LIBERTY BOWL Memphis, Tenn.
Dec. 29, 4:30 p.m. (ESPN) Mississippi State (7-5) vs. UCF (10-3)

Most folks watching this game will be expecting to see Kevin Smith attempt to break the single season rushing record (which is crap cuz Barry Sanders did it in 2 fewer games). State's underrated defense will be able to mostly contain Smith and likely keep the record in Sander's rightful hands. State's utter contempt for offense will keep UCF in the game, but don't expect O'Leary to giftwrap two touchdowns late in the game like Ole Miss did for the Croomster. UCF 19, Mississippi State 13.

ALAMO BOWL San Antonio
Dec. 29, 8 p.m. (ESPN) Penn State (8-4) vs. Texas A&M (7-5)

Texas A&M is finally rid of Coach Fran, but who the heck knows how this will turn out. Joe Pa hopes to gain a cheap one on Bowden, but more on that later.... PSU 17, A&M 15.

INDEPENDENCE BOWL Shreveport, La.
Dec. 30, 8 p.m. (ESPN) Colorado (6-6) vs. Alabama (6-6)
Last season: Oklahoma State 34, Alabama 31

Another year, new coach, $4 M less in bank account, Bama is back in Shreveport in the world's worst bowl game destination. Shreveport isn't even that close to New Orleans. I guess it is possible folks get drunk there and flash boobs too, but with cable and the internet these days, is it really necessary to travel to see those things? Bama 23, Colorado 17.

ARMED FORCES BOWL Fort Worth, Texas
Dec. 31, 12:30 p.m. (ESPN) Cal (6-6) vs. Air Force (9-3)

Air Force will play smart, disciplined ball. Tedford will decide whether to let his quarterback coach the team or just do it himself. Falcons 35, Bears 21.

SUN BOWL El Paso, Texas
Dec. 31, 2 p.m.(CBS) USF (9-3) vs. Oregon (8-4)

Cons against Oregon: Starting QB named Leaf, Zero confidence in rest of Offense, Ready to look to next year.
Pros for Oregon: Phil Knight supplies kick ass gear.
USF 42, Oregon 17

HUMANITARIAN BOWL Boise, Idaho
Dec. 31, 2 p.m. (ESPN2) Fresno State (8-4) vs. Georgia Tech (7-5)

The Blue Turf bowl without Boise State is like having the New Mexico Bowl without New Mexico. Fresno State will actually try to win this game. Georgia Tech at least will not be handcuffed by Chan Gailey any more. Georgia Tech 26, Fresno State 23.

MUSIC CITY BOWL Nashville
Dec. 31, 4 p.m. (ESPN) Florida State (7-5) vs. Kentucky (7-5)

At last. 36 (and counting) Seminoles will not be making the trip to Nashville. If Bobby Bowden were still alive, this cheating scandal never would have made it to the light of day. Seriously, there are very few coaches that would still have a job after about 1/3 of their team cheated and were caught. If Kentucky weren't Kentucky, I would feel pretty safe in picking them for this game. On the plus side for the Wildcats, I am guessing Jimbo Fisher is going to start drinking on the job to hopefully get fired so that he can pursue other opportunities post haste. If you see him call 3 straight "statue of liberty plays" you will know he has mentally checked out. Kentucky 49, FSU 20.

INSIGHT BOWL Tempe, Ariz.
Dec. 31, 5:30 p.m. (NFL Network) Indiana (7-5) vs. Oklahoma State (6-6)

Just when you think, you have peered into the crappiest bowl match up, here comes the Insight Bowl. Indiana is still playing for the memory of their coach and Gundy is insane. That said, the Big Ten still sucks. OSU 44, Indiana 14.

CHICK-FIL-A BOWL Atlanta
Dec. 31, 7:30 p.m. (ESPN) Clemson (9-3) vs. Auburn (8-4)

Another of the Contractual Mismatch Bowls. A mediocre SEC Squad against a top tier ACC squad. Plus you have the personal history between the Bowden family and Auburn. Clemson 35, Auburn 31.

The rest of the picks will come in a later post.

Verizon FiOS update

They still blow, but not quite like Paris Hilton.

The savings are not what they promise (I know, I should be shocked that I got lied to by a company).

The sound and video is always the slightly out of sync. Not enough to be unwatchable, but enough to just make you want to complain.

Internet access from our desktop machine sometimes drops unexpectedly.

On the good side, the wireless access works very well and it quite reliable.

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Why didn't i listen to myself?

I just got Verizon FiOS installed yesterday and couldn't hate it more. I didn't care that the speed of the service was going to be slower than my existing cable high speed internet service. I made a decision to go "all-in" with Verizon based on the fact that I felt my land-line phone service would be more reliable and that I would save about $10/month versus bundling TV, Phone and internet with Comcast. My big concern was that historically, Verizon has been a thorn in my side as customer service is concerned.

Here is a common Verizon customer service interaction:

  1. Place call to verizon
  2. Get message saying your request can only be handled between 8-6PM. Please call back then.
  3. Call back next day
  4. Place request
  5. "our system that handles that is down today. your request will go into effect tomorrow."
  6. Check tomorrow to see if request has been acted on
  7. Problem still exists
  8. Call to say problem still exists
  9. "we have no record of you making that request. Please call back between 8-6PM to speak to someone who can handle your request."
  10. consider poking myself with a sharp stick (less painful than contemplating dealing with Verizon again).
So much for the FiOS "one number for all your needs" service plan. You call that and you get the same old crap as above. You tell them you aren't happy about it and you get a typical Verizon answer: sorry about that, (but you can go fuck yourself).

Verizon blows sheep. They suck. I hate them. I should have never turned off my Comcast connection. It took over one month for them to even make it to my house to install the damn thing and then it takes one day to completely piss me off.

I will keep posting to let you know how my experience progresses. I put the over/under at 3 months before I pay the cancellation fee and switch everything to Comcast.

Cheers!

Monday, April 16, 2007

Hail to the Chompions!

I know it has been a while since the Final Four, but dude, that ruled!

At the last minute, my lovely wife scored tickets to the games! She is a UCLA grad, so I did have to sit with the Bruins. However, the Final Four is easily the single best sporting event I have ever experienced. The whole weekend was a blast and this is coming from a guy that drove 13.5 hours with three kids under 3 years old to get there.

I will tell you that the gators did play as if there was no tomorrow and I couldn't be happier to be a UF grad. I know I now have about a 10 year moratorium on complaining about them.

Go Gators!

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

No Day But Today

A familiar refrain from the largely forgettable musical, Rent. But yet, this line and the implications of it have been echoing in my head recently. Perhaps it is because this past year (my twins will be one year old in three weeks) has gone by so fast. I look back and see that I spent way too much time worrying about bullshit that really doesn't make a difference. I guess that is easy to do when you are in the middle of something so monumentally hard to do as working full time and taking care of two infants and a toddler.

So why do I break my non-creativity streak and post now?

Two reasons: NCAA tourney and Kids

NCAA tourney - this event to me has become the premier sporting event of the year. I would say that college basketball is my third favorite sport behind college football and soccer. But, this tournament is the most riveting event around. Each game is a drama and the overall product delivers the goods every time. Last year, my team, Florida, played like there was no day but today and improbably won it all. This year, every pundit acts like it would be a failure if they didn't win it all, but I think it will be the greatest accomplishment of my lifetime should they do it.

Take these points:

1) The best team seldom wins the NCAA tournament
2) The team that can impose its game on others, wins more often than it loses
3) The team that can play defense best wins

For point #1, the best team left is Kansas, followed closely by North Carolina. All the stats back me up on this and head to head, Kansas beat UF earlier this season in an OT game that UF was lucky to force.

For point #2, UF is better at your game than you are. If you want to play half court, they are better at it than you. In the half court game, Horford is unstoppable. If you want to play physical, they have the strongest and most fearsome player in Chris Richard. If you want to run and gun, Noah, Green and Humphrey will quickly light you up. Yet, Kansas is even better at all of that than UF. Their larger guards can bury shots like no one else.

For point #3, Georgetown wins here, but Hibbert is such an overrated stiff, that they will eventually stumble. The next best two teams are Kansas and North Carolina. UCLA plays good defense, but Afflalo is such a head case, I don't trust them against an equally matched opponent.

No Day But Today. That is the only way that Florida overcomes the gorilla named Kansas that lies ahead on March 31 in Atlanta. Leave it all behind and don't think of what could happen if you were to lose. No Day But Today. All of the pundits that have picked Florida to win, likely already have half of the column written that describes how foolish they were to pick them should they fall without a championship. Live the moment like it is your last.

I am confident that both of these teams will not let the clearly inferior opponents left stop them from what should be the true national title game. As much personal pain as it would cause for UF to play UCLA again, I would welcome that so much more than having to face Kansas.

Kids - There is nothing like having kids to bring up all the hang-ups and fears you have about yourself. I know that my little guys don't analyze everything I say to them and take it as a life lesson. But I do think they every day has the potential to be a day that is remembered forever. There are days from when I was 3 that I can still recall very vividly. My oldest will be 3 soon and her earliest memories will be formed. No Day But Today.

Every day is a gift, every laugh, smile, milestone, tantrum and lesson learned is something to cherish.

She went with me to Ma'ariv services tonight and really surprised me by being very well-behaved, very insightful and sweeter than I could ever be. Ma'ariv services start at 7:45 PM at this time of year which is a horrible time of day for a two and one-half year old. They are tired and ready for bed. I explained that this service was a quiet place as we entered the temple and she was perfect. The only sounds she made were "Amen's" and an insightful comment.

As we sat down for the mourners to recite the mourners kaddish, she says, "Daddy, where is Mr. God?" This drew a couple of laughs from the other folks around us. I did tell her that Mr. God is "everywhere".

As we finished the service, I asked her to think a good thought for her Aunt Sheila. She stopped and closed her eyes and then looked at me. I asked her what she she was thinking of, and of course she replied, "Aunt Sheila." Sheila, you have Eliana on your side, and with her comes lots of love and all of the things that Mr. God can do to help. You can't lose.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

BCS bullcrap

I used to enjoy listening to talk radio, only for sports though. After a while, I just got sick of how every topic had to be made into this grand important discussion and what it means to society. Does anyone actually think the Terrell Owens really cares what sportstalk hack Joe from Idaho thinks about his celebrations? No, all he cares is that people talk about him so that his name is familiar, so that he can get big contracts and endorsements.

So, when I changed jobs last November, I made the switch to becoming a full time iPod listener and have given up on terrestrial radio almost entirely. I realize that using the iPod puts me behind the satellite radio crowd, but I don't need another monthly expense these days. Eventually XM and Sirius are going to merge and then we will see what happens to those monthly rates (will probably double).

So, why am I writing this post? As a college football fan, I find that there is nothing more annoying than the yearly, "which team got screwed by the BCS?" debate. Now that there are close to 30 bowl games, all a team has to do is play .500 ball just to make one. Talk about rewarding mediocrity. I can remember when teams that made a bowl after when 7 or 8 games felt lucky!

I feel that college football deserves a playoff. The college sports that have tournaments, generate an inordinate about of interest. ESPN broadcasts the hockey final 4. There are only two hockey conferences in the nation and this group gets coverage on ESPN. A college football play would not only generate money and interest, but it owuld likely stop the BCS conferences powers from scheduling weak opponents since a loss would not be as costly.

The best way to get a playoff is for the BCS to continue to suck ass and break year after year. I have actually pulled for 3 or more teams to go undefeated just in the hopes that it will really screw over another team from making it and create outrage.

Here is the format I would propose for a 16 team college playoff:

1) Conference champions receive automatic bids to the tournament (Notre Dame had better join a conference or else it would risk having to earn an at large nid every year. Screw them if they don't want to play along. Their presence would not add viewers to a playoff.). The conferences that would get automatic bids would be:

ACC
Big East
Big Ten
Big Twelve
PAC 10
SEC
Mountain West

Furthermore, each conference champion would get to host a first round game. I think it is a big deal to win these conferences, so you should be rewarded.

2) At large bids would be selected NCAA tourney style with a selection show. Strength of schedule and how you finish the season are usually important criteria for earning a berth in the men's basketball tournament. I would expect the same for this one. Therefore, no more games against the Citadel for homecoming!

3) The first round of the tournament would be played on the 2nd saturday of December. Subsequent rounds would follow every week until a champion is crowned with the exception of the Final Four. Those two games would be played on New Year's Day. Can you imagine the buildup for those two games? It would be unreal!

4) The championship would be played on the second Saturday after New Year's Day to allow the hype to really go crazy.

Holy Cow, where does the time go?

I cannot believe how long it has been since I have had the chance to write something here. Man am I lame.

Ever since our twins were born, it seems that life has mostly revolved around doing things to keep our house hold just above water, so to speak. You know, like taking out trash as you hear the garbage truck approaching, or putting away the tool you got out a month ago and haven't been able to muster the strength to take back to the basement.

So, if anyone is actually reading this, my bad. I will endeavor to write down some thoughts for the sake of my mental health and personal entertainment whenever I possibly can.

Peace.

Friday, February 24, 2006

More Goofy Ellie Stories

I believe that all parents love to hear the creative ways their children learn to interact with others in the world. One of my favorite stories was relayed to me by our daycare provider. But first some background:

Ellie has a stuffed doggy that was originally mine. My mother gave both me and Dorann these stuffed dogs as a gift one time when she visited. We had kept them in our room where they were appreciated, but not really embraced until our daughter Ellie was old enough to recognize them. Ellie likes all animals, but is especially excited by dogs. One of her first words was "doggy" and anyone walking their dog past our house is greeted with a voracious chorus of "doggy, doggy!"

For whatever reason, she has decided that the stuffed dog that was originally mine, is the preferred doggy and is to be with her as much as is possible. The other doggy, originally Dorann's, is offered for guests to hold. Sort of like a proactive peace offering to keep other's filthy mitts off her doggy.

About two month's ago, Ellie had held onto the doggy as we gathered her belongings to go to daycare. I had no problem with her bringing the doggy there for the day. The following was relayed to me by one of the teachers when I picked her up that afternoon:

Ellie was holding her doggy and playing with the other children and at some point, dropped her doggy. Her friend Megan (about 2 months older) picked up the doggy and decided she liked it. Ellie immediately noticed, but did not freak out. She politely asked Megan, "doggy, please" and held out her hands. Megan refused. Ellie again asked, "doggy, please" to again be rebuked by Megan.

Our little negotiator then pulled the pacifier out of Megan's mouth (taking Megan's most prized possession) and once again asked "doggy, please". To which, Megan immediately handed over the doggy and Ellie returned the pacifier.

I give the little girl high marks for solving the doggy dilemma non-violently and with style! Which was quite good for a 17 month old!

Stories from the Gwib Side

As we were drying our 19-month old daughter off after her bath, she started singing "rock-a-bye baby". To our extreme surprise, Ellie belted out the following line:

Rock a bye baby, doggy peacock!